Happy 75 Birthday Dad!

My dad is one of the most amazing human beings I know. At 75 years young, he is probably more fit and more strong than many who are half his age—and that’s even after a massive heart attack seven years ago. My dad has always been a pretty amazing individual, and I don’t think I could write enough about the lessons he has taught me through his work ethic, his patience, his respect for others, and through his rich faith.

I remember when I was growing up, he would drive me to school EVERY DAY and pick me up EVERY AFTERNOON when school let out. He would ALWAYS find time for me no matter how busy his day was. He would be up early getting ready for work, and he would work late on projects around the house, in the garden, or helping our neighbors—at least on the occasions when we weren’t going fishing! On those days, him and my uncle Russell, and my cousin, Jo Ann would load up in Russell’s van as soon as he was off work, and we would venture out to see who could catch our limit of trout first. We wouldn’t stop fishing until the sun was going down.

We did a lot of fishing, me and Dad. Sometimes, when we would go fishing, he would reach his hand across the cab of his pickup truck and say, “Ol’ Billy Williams, used to be my buddy…” and every time, I would reach my hand out to give him a high-five, and say emphatically, “Still am!” And to this day, my dad is not only my dad, but he is my buddy as well. At my wedding, I had two best men, Willie (My best friend in the whole world) and my dad. My dad has been there for every important moment in my life, and it only made since to have him stand by me on my wedding day.

He used to take me to the PHS field-house every Sunday morning to play basketball for at least an hour. We would shoot free-throws, and he would teach me how to properly execute a hook shot. After a shoot-around and warm up, we would play a few games of horse or play one-on-one. I loved those mornings of us just hanging out. I loved them as much as the evenings fishing and the evenings practicing my fielding or my batting for baseball. Recently I was hanging out with one of my childhood friends who didn’t grow up with his father, and he told me that he always thought it was so cool that me and Dad did so much together. Growing up I just figured it was that way for every kid. Boy was I wrong!

My dad has one of the most intense work ethics of anyone I know—and he’s always looking for ways he can help others. Sometimes when he visits me, he will notice that the grass needs cut, and while I’m working, he’ll fire up the mower and cut the grass. When I had more trees around the house with low branches, he would come up and help me trim those branches too!

We don’t get to see each other as often as either one of us would like, but when we do, we always have a good time and great adventures. Whether it is going on long bike rides or hiking to the top of Seneca rocks, Dad definitely keeps you moving. I love that we get to explore so many parts of this world together, and I love that many of my friends have also had the privilege of meeting and spending time with my dad.

One year, I was able to save up to buy tickets to almost every WVU home basketball game for him to sit/stand in the student section with me. It was so much fun to be able to share some amazing times with dad at the WVU Coliseum to cheer on the Mountaineers. On top of all of the amazing character qualities my dad exemplifies and I strive to emulate, he is a HUGE Mountaineer fan! Part of my memories growing up consisted of listening to Jack Fleming, the Voice of the Mountaineers, giving play-by-play for WVU sports on my dad’s old transistor radio, while Dad prepared home-made pizzas for supper. And now, every once in a while, we will land a couple tickets to a WVU football or basketball game. And both of us have the same perspective on the games—as big of fans as we both are, the company we get to enjoy the games with means way more than our seats in the stadium.

Dad and Mom both taught me a lot about appreciating people, and appreciating the quality of time shared as much as the quantity. During my childhood, we would take bicycling ‘adventures’ from our house and ride to “The Point” (where the Ohio and Little Kanawha Rivers meet) and then make our way along the floodwall to explore some of the places along the river where he and his siblings would play and swim when he was a kid. The ‘adventures’ were always as much about the company as they were the location.

And today, on his 75^th birthday, my heart is overflowing with gratitude for a lifetime of memories like these that he has made with me—I know that just about everyone he knows well has a long list of similar memories made together.  And, for every one of us, we are filled with eager anticipation for the next set of memories we will make together.

Dad, I hope you have an amazing birthday! I am so grateful for every moment we have been able to spend together, every heartfelt conversation, every adventure, every Mountaineer victory (and loss), and every long hike, fishing trip, or bike ride. Even more, I’m grateful for all of the ways you have been such a solid example of the kind of man I aspire to be! I love you very much!

My Thoughts About Tim Tebow

Tim's First NFL Touchdown from Tim Tebow on Vimeo.


It seems like everywhere people are talking about Tim Tebow. Sports pundits wonder if he has special favor from God because of some of his team's amazing victories this year. The faith community seems divided, some thinking he is a great proselytizer and others thinking he is drawing too much attention to football. Others, somewhat cynically work to remind the masses that he is just a man, and what he is doing is being overly hyped.

Now, historically I'm a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, although I have a nephew who is a huge Denver Broncos fan and has been since he was a little boy. I'm not writing as a sports pundit. Of course, those who know me know that my faith is very important to me, and that I strive to learn how to best live this life from Jesus Christ, and I seek to follow his example, but I'm not being so bold as to claim to be an expert as to how Tim Tebow should incorporate his faith into football. This post is about Tebow, but it's really about all of us.

This morning after I woke up, I read an article about Tim Tebow that really touched me. There's been a lot of ink used on Tebow in recent months, and as I referenced earlier, it has been a mixed bag with regard to what people are saying about him. As I thought about whether I should write anything at all, I figured that if I did, I should definitely write it before tonights game, as regardless of one's perspective on this guy, lots of people will be writing about what he did or didn't do tomorrow.

That's a lot of pressure on any human being, but Tebow seems to deal really well with it. I mean tomorrow there will be thousands of tweets and facebook posts talking about the game and his faith, and his prayers, and his life, but the article I read this morning on ESPN really brought a different angle to his story.

You see, even though all eyes are on Tebow before and after games, each week, he has his eyes elsewhere.   He has his eyes on someone who has been suffering, whose life he is attempting to make a little brighter. Rather than re-tell the story of the ESPN article I read, I'm just going to post it here, and let you read it as well.

This post has made reference to Tim Tebow multiple times, but it's not because of his accolades on the field, or the way he talks about Jesus every time he gets the opportunity. It's for what I saw in the article, and what I hear from time to time from others. Sure, he's just a man, but in spite of having all eyes on him and having all eyes expecting him to fail, expecting him to shout about Jesus, expecting him to pull-off a miracle play, he is looking to care for others. He is spending time with the hurting, and trying to make others lives a little brighter.

And so although this little ditty started as a post about Tim Tebow, it's really about you and me. You see, the majority of us will never rise to the celebrated status of this or any other professional athlete or rock star or writer or hollywood mogul, but, we have an opportunity every day. Every day, we have an opportunity to serve others, to make someone else's day a little brighter, to love our neighbor as ourself. It's really about what we are going to do with the time we have to make this world a better place.

And so, whatever you do, whether it's playing professional sports, or some less celebrated activity, remember that your time, and your day is really not about you, but rather it's about how you can serve, bless, and/or improve the lives of other people. May we each make the most of the limited time we have on earth, and learn to love well. When we love well, we make the world a little more beautiful. As I read and learn more about Tim Tebow and his off the field exploits, I see the beauty he brings into the world. And as I close this post, I pray that he, and you, and I can grow in our love and service for others.

The Place

Back in April 2010 I went to visit some folks from my tribe who live along the Ohio River. Me and my best friend in the whole world, Willie, picked up some tobacco as per our tribal tradition while on our way (you should always bring some form of tobacco as a gift when visiting an elder or spiritual leader), since we were visiting the oldest living elder of our tribe.  His name is Flying Duck, and he is the brother of our tribe’s former principle chief.  He and his sons are pretty amazing artisans, and in particular he and one of his sons work with silver.

The reason for our visit was twofold.  The first reason was because Flying Duck is an elder, and regrettably for both Willie and myself it had been far too long since we last visited him.  The second reason was because I was hoping to ask him and his son if they could make an engagement/wedding band for me to offer Jamie as I asked for her hand in marriage.  Shawnee people have a long tradition in silver-work, and for many other tribes, the word used to describe the Shawnee meant “the silver people.”

As Willie and I drove the narrow country road that led away from the Ohio River along a small stream on Rush Run Road, my mind flooded with memories.  We had driven this road many times before to visit Flying Duck and other Shawnee who lived in the area.  We had roofed a house there, gone to church there, attended funerals there, and on many occasions sat in the house where Flying Duck and Raincrow grew up.

Every time I visit, I sit down in an old wooden chair that sat next to an old wooden table in the dining room, and sometimes, Flying Duck talk about the table and chair. Shawnee people love to tell stories. "Billy, a lot of very deeply spiritual people have sat at that table.  Many of the most committed Christians I have ever known have sat exactly where you are sitting.  Raincrow, my grandmother, and my mother have all sat in that space.  We’ve hosted missionaries, preachers and others and they have sat right here at that table for meals.  Have you ever heard of Dr. Alexander Reed? Dr. Alexander Reed was a missionary to Africa and he had a huge crush on my mother.  Lot’s of men did because she was beautiful, and very godly.  Every time Dr. Alexander Reed would return from Africa, he would come visit for Sunday dinner after church and would share stories with our family of his missions in Africa.  Lot’s of powerful Christians have sat where you sit Billy, and it’s an honor to have you sit there too!”

And so we would sit and listen and share stories.  It’s a bit of the Indian way.  On this trip, it was more of the same, and although Flying Duck and his son felt they would be unable to help me make a unique ring, we certainly enjoyed catching up, and sharing stories.  I remember my drive back to Columbus with Willie, and just how nostalgic we had become from our visit to a place and to people with whom we had many special memories.

As I talked with Jamie about it the next day, it sparked a question.  “Where’s the most special place on earth for you, where you have a lot of memories and good times?”

Her response, “I’d have to say Lake Floyd.  It’s the place where I grew up, and it is really special to me.”

I thought, then spoke “Well, is there any place in particular around the lake that is particularly special for you? It’s kind of a big place.”

“The middle of the lake, I used to love rowing out there and sitting—it’s just so quiet and peaceful.”

And that’s when I knew that when I asked Jamie to marry me, it was going to be in the middle of Lake Floyd…

And what about you?  What are some special and sacred places for you?

Bubble Tea Will Never Be The Same

It was October 19^th, 2008, and the place was a little spot in Morgantown called Bubble Sikaku.  It was an Asian Tea place that sold bubble tea.  Bubble Tea is a delicious drink that has small tapioca balls in the bottom of it. It comes in a variety of flavors and styles, and I believe one could spend years drinking it without exhausting the combinations.  I had chosen Bubble Tea for the place where we would meet.

I had hoped to meet up the day before, go for a bike ride to Apple Annie’s, and then take a drive to Cooper’s Rock, but we couldn’t do that because of schedule conflicts—she was attending a wedding with another guy.  So I waited for the meeting, and planned it for the next day.

When I was scheduling our meeting, she asked if other people could join us, and I told her that I would rather just talk to her.  She asked if she was in trouble or getting fired, and I let her know that she wasn’t in trouble but that I just wanted to talk.

As she came into the space and we sat down, I started by thanking her for her friendship.  We had been friends for three years, and she had become one of my most trusted friends.  She and her mom came to my mother’s funeral, and I had encouraged several guys to pursue a relationship with her because she was such a catch.  And recently, I had wondered if maybe I should stop encouraging other guys to date her.

I told her that we had been spending a lot of time together, and that I really enjoyed every moment of it.  I didn’t believe we had crossed the line of “too much” time, but I felt like we were getting close to that line, and that if I really wanted to honor God, and honor her, I needed to talk in more detail about our relationship.  I wanted to get to know her better, and I was beginning to believe that I either needed to begin to pursue a relationship with her, or back off in our quality time together significantly.

So I shared my feelings with her, and how special and treasured she was to me, and how I had no idea what the future had in store, but that I would love to find out.  Maybe we would only end up being really great friends, but maybe there was something more.

She didn’t talk much.  She didn’t pour her Bubble Tea out on my head either, so it didn’t go entirely badly.  She told me that she was honored and flattered, and although the thought had never crossed her mind about it before, she wanted to take time and pray about it. 

And so she prayed, and I waited.  And after a few weeks of prayer, she let me know that YES, she would be interested in seeing what a relationship together might look like.

Happy 69th Birthday Dad!

Dad's Birthday 2010, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Recently I gave an update on my dad’s health and just how impressive his recovery has been. Today, I want to let you know that he is now officially 69 years old. (I’m sure he will be really thankful for me sharing his age).

It’s pretty amazing to think back on the way my dad has poured into his children to spur us on to success. Growing up, he and my mom were our number one cheerleaders. He rarely missed a sporting event, choir concert, or academic accolade for any of us kids.

In fact, some of my fondest memories of dad center around how much care he brought to our family. Each day, he would rise early and be off to work. When he would arrive home, he would start taking care of household chores (along with mom). I can remember him working hard in our family garden (and sometimes us kids would even help), and then after mowing, gardening and sundry other activities, he would still have enough energy left to take me to a baseball field and help me work on my batting and fielding, or we would go fishing, or even play basketball together.

I guess I got a little more nostalgic because yesterday my dad and I spent some time walking and fishing around the small lake where my girlfriend grew up. He and I took our fly rods and worked our way around every structure we could find to see who could land the most and the biggest. It was a close race, but I’d say he probably won (How could I out-fish him on the day before his birthday?).

At the end of our fishing exploits we stopped in for a coke and some popcorn at the concession stand on the lake. It completed a fun journey for the two of us as we thought back to our numerous fishing trips over the years, successful catches, and even more wonderful times of being together with family.

I’m grateful for every year and every day that my dad has walked this earth, and I’m grateful that he demonstrated servant leadership at its finest by the way he took care of me, my siblings, and my mom. He taught us about the soil, about taking care of what we have, and how to love well.

I’m glad I have been able to sit under his tutelage for a few of the years he’s been walking the earth. If you have ever met him, you know what a privilege it is to know him.

Happy Birthday Dad!

South Ridge Church

Yesterday, I had the distinct pleasure of seeing and talking with several friends as I visited South Ridge Church, in Fairmont, WV. If you are looking for a church in the Fairmont area, I highly recommend this little faith community. They've been at it for about five years now, and the community has grown TREMENDOUSLY in the last five years. South Ridge Church has a gret community of small groups, awesome youth programs, and great messages that help people understand and apply the scriptures to their lives. SRC was started when a team of people from Chestnut Ridge Church, led by my friend Seth Broadhurst, stepped out in faith to care for a new community.

I shared a little bit about Nuru during the church's Mission Sunday. As Seth introduced me, it brought me to tears. He could have just introduced me as a friend who was going to talk with folks about Nuru. Instead, he told about how God used me to help him grow with God nine years ago. I had no idea the significance of my impact on his life.

And the truth is, most of us rarely realize the impact we have on other people's lives. In the lobby, a gal by the name of Twyla came up and introduced herself to me. We went to Governor's Honor Academy together MANY years ago. She recognized me, and told me how great it was to see me there serving. She works at my former employer, Mylan Pharmaceuticals. As we talked, and shared a little bit of our respective life journeys/adventures, she pointed across the room to her husband, Brian. And then she nearly brought me to tears as well. She said, "That's my husband over there. He just got saved about 18 months ago. Seth led him to Christ. Thank you for pouring into Seth, because God used your friendship with Seth to reach my husband with the gospel."

I was floored. I had no idea. We rarely do have any idea. I wonder how many people we all impact in significant ways through our care for other people. Here was a guy who I had never met in my life, and yet, we were connected through God's work in my life, in Seth's life, and in Twyla's life (and many others). No wonder Paul said, "One plants, another waters, but God causes the growth."

My friends at South Ridge had a profound impact on my life yesterday. They were an encouragement that I can't put into words. They were a reminder that the little things we do can have significant impact beyond what we see presently.

As you go about your work today, as you go about your relationships today, I want to ask you to be considerate of one thing. Love. Love deeply. Care about the people you are serving. Whether those people are family, co-workers, or customers. Speak the truth in love. Take time for them. Be mindful that your work, your time, in whatever you are doing, is NOT insignificant.

God has blessed each of us with wonderful people made in His image that we can love them and love Him. May you walk in that love. You may never see the impact of that love in this SUPER SMALL segment of our eternal lives, but WOW! When we pass from this life to the life eternal, what rejoicing and delight there will be as we see the fruit of our love, and even more so, the GREAT OBJECT of our love, Love Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Remembering Mom

Remembering Mom, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Today is my mom's birthday. I started thinking about it a bit yesterday. I went to Washington DC to connect with a few old friends and to see WVU play Maryland.

It was kind of a weird experience for me. I took the metro into DC to meet up with a couple of friends, and I got there around 4PM. The last time I was in DC, I went to the Georgetown/WVU basketball game with some friends. As I got off the metro and emerged from the station, I started walking.

I realized as I walked that the last time I was in DC, it was around the same time of day, and in the same place. I remember calling my mom while I was there then. My dad was out walking, and she had ridden her exercise bike like 2 miles that day. We laughed and joked and celebrated her victory in the world of exercise. Times were a lot different.

Yesterday, I felt a sweeping sadness as I walked on the same sidewalks, and thought, "I really want to talk to my mom." There was a farmer's market in the city, and I thought, "I could get her some flowers for a birthday present, but . . ."

So today, I've been kind of sad, I just miss her. Yesterday, my brother and I talked briefly about Mom and he said something so beautiful I want to share it with you. He said that Mom was a little bigger than the average person, and we were often concerned about that being a potential health problem. But then he said that she probably had to have a bigger body because her heart was so HUGE, and that was the only way to contain it.

I think that's the thing I miss most of all. My mom's big heart. I miss the example of Christ she was in so many people's lives, including my own. As I write this, tears are streaming down my face.

When walked around DC, it seemed like there wasn't enough time available for me to thoroughly process all of the emotion I was feeling, but writing this blog has been a start.

In the end, I know she is much better off. She is eternally in the fullness of the presence of King Jesus. Cancer can no longer weaken her huge heart, and she is even more radiantly beautiful than she ever was as i knew her.

I'm thankful for the example she has given me, my friends, and family to follow in loving people. May our hearts, though in different bodies, imitate her Christlike love for people as a way of honoring her and our gracious loving God in whose presence she now lives.

Del Monte Cup

Del Monte Cup, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Friday night, history happened! Some of my cousins had a bunch of us over for a summertime bar-b-q. It was a great evening of sharing stories, laughing together, and simply being family.

And then, I was introduced to a new game, and a new competition was born. I don't know, maybe you have heard of cornhole before, but I hadn't. Sure, I have seen people playing a game with what I thought were bean-bags before WVU football games, but I never took the time to find out exactly what was going on.

This game is a blast. I watched some of my cousins play the first round, and then my brother and I took on my dad and my uncle Bill. Then, my sister and her husband Ray stepped on the field of play. They totally dominated. Their only loss was in an overtime (tiebreaker) against a young duo of one of my second cousins and his buddy. (They later trounced the same team.)

Little did we know that there were stakes involved. (Although we had eaten steaks for supper earlier). The now famed "Del Monte Cup" was the prize for the top team of the evening. Now my sister and her husband are the envy and the target for the rest of the family. Serious training is under way. Who knows when the next competition will come about, but I know that I for one want to be ready. After all, it isn't just about bragging rights--the "Del Monte Cup" travels with the top team. I think it would look good on a shelf in a prominent position in my house.

The only problem is, I imagine there is a similar sentiment all through my family . . .

Anticipation

Anticipation, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This picture was taken on June 3, 2007. We had just attended my dad's church, eaten some lunch, and Dad wanted to show my brother and nephew this place called fort boreman hill. Oddly enough, we didn't plan to color coordinate our attire--it just happened that way.

That river running behind us is the Ohio River. For generations, my family has lived along that river. When we needed time to think or to pray, we've journeyed to that river. It's been a place for us to go to remember, to reflect, and to contemplate the future.

It has also been a place for us to go make new memories like the one you see.

Today, I will travel across that river on my way to pick up my brother. It has been nearly two months since that day we hung out at fort boreman hill. It's weird when I think back to that day. The day before, my mom led us all through a wonderful and emotional spiritual experience. We were hopeful that mom would be home from the hospital soon. We had no idea that she wasn't coming to the place where dad and she had lived, but instead she went to her eternal home.

Tonight, i get to hang out with my other brother, Willie. I get to pick up my older brother chuck, and his son. I get to spend time with family. Everything I've been doing lately pales in comparison with that privilege. I truly can't wait to be on my way to columbus to pick them up. I think we will be returning to Morgantown the next day.

It's a really busy time of year for me as the return of students is fast approaching, but I'm looking forward to spending many spare moments in close community and fellowship with my family! I'm honored to be able to pick him up, and can't wait for our reunion!

Of course he is also pretty excited too I imagine. Among other things, he will probably be receiving his name while he is here. Plus, he gets to be reunited with family, and being with people you love and love you, that's pretty cool!

Walking in the Wilderness

Traveling, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Last weekend, we made some really grand plans of traveling to our fishing camp near Elkins, WV. When the weekend came however, we found ourselves without the energy that we needed to make the trip. We had the desire, but in the end, after discussing the travel we decided to stick around home.

Willie and his family came to visit, and we all took a hike through a wildlife refuge near parkersburg, WV. I traveled down from Morgantown Friday afternoon, and we began doing what people typically do when they get together for a limited time.

We tried to plan and do too much. Somehow, we believe that we can do more in one day (or a couple of days) than what is reasonable or even possible. Do you ever find yourself in this situation?

I think part of the problem is that we don't have a good understanding of time. Technology allows us to do a number of things at once, or a number of things better, but in the end it still takes time (and energy!) to pack, prepare, and actually DO whatever we have planned to do in a given amount of time.

It's funny because we all thought we would have the energy for a trip to the mountains, but even with our little hike near town, most of us required a mid-afternoon nap.

Even today, I find my day full of meetings, and all that I had aspired to do I have a haunting suspicion will not be completed.

Interestingly, I've been reading exodus, and thinking about the forty year period it took for Israel to make it to the promised land. I bet they knew that the land was really close. I bet they knew that they should be able to make it into the land in far less than forty years. And, I'm sure they grew frustrated at times as they felt they were accomplishing far less than they should.

And that's maybe the lesson, I'm learning in the middle of looking at the intersection of scripture with my life. Sometimes it isn't about accomplishing things. Sometimes it is just about the journey and enjoying that journey with the people who are around you. If we get too caught up in getting to the end, we may find ourselves frustrated, and we also may find that we have missed a lot of what is happening along the journey.

If you are frustrated by the fact you can't get EVERYTHING done in the time you have allotted, take heart, you aren't alone. More than this take some time, reflect on your situation, and ask God what He wants you to see as He is journeying every step of the way with you, just like He did with Israel.

Mourning Hair and Celebrating Tradition

Mourning Hair, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

My ancestors had many traditions that made them unique. Over the last several years I have worked to learn, teach, and share many of them. One of them has to do with hair.

The men of our tribe would grow their hair long as a symbol of freedom. It was meant to reflect the fact that we have an unconquerable spirit, that we are always shawnee, and that we are free.

I used to wear my hair short. Then, on November 12, 1994, I put my faith in Jesus Christ. I became a Christian. I was set free from my slavery to sin, death, and evil. Because I was finally free, it was an appropriate time to start growing my hair. If you've ever wondered, the growing of my hair is both a symbol of my heritage as a Shawnee, and a symbol of the true freedom that Jesus offers each and every one of us when we put our trust in Him.

My ancestors also had another tradition--when a loved one passed on, they would cut their hair as a symbol of their mourning, and as a way of honoring those who went before them.

Saturday, after my mom's funeral service, I honored her in this ancient way. I celebrated our common heritage as Shawnee people. I celebrated her life and mourn her departure from this world as well. Even though I know she is with Jesus, I'm going to miss her dearly--we all are.

I gave the hair that was cut to locks of love so that someone else who is fighting cancer like my mom did can wear it. It's another way participating in this tradition can bless and serve another human being.

Already, people have begun asking about my "new style" so I figured this blog would be a helpful way to introduce people to this ancient tradition I participated in, and it also might explain to many why I wear my hair long in the first place.

Sometimes in our modern world we lose sight and are confused by the diversity of traditions that are out there. We have very little idea or understanding of the swirl of cultures around us. I encourage you today to take some time and learn a little bit about the beautifully intricate world and people among which we live.

Myrrh

Myrrh, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Yesterday was mom's funeral. You know it was so amazing to see so many of my friends come out and show support for me and my family, and to pay a tribute to mom.

My best friend in the whole world, Willie, was one of the pall bearers. Before the funeral service, he came up and gave me a bag with some small stones in it. I asked him what was in the bag, and he said it was myrrh, and that he had been wanting me to have it for a long time to be able to burn at times when I pray.

When he gave it to me I had a couple of thoughts. I took out one piece of myrrh from the bag for my dad, my brother, my sister, and myself. I explained to my family a little bit about the use of myrrh in Jesus' day.

You see, when Jesus was born, wise men from the east brought him gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The gold reflected Jesus's royalty--He is King of the Jews. The frankincense reflected his divinity--He is God in the flesh. The myrrh symbolized his humanity--Myrrh was used in burial preparations for those who passed away. The myrrh given to Jesus pointed to His eventual crucifixion where He conquered sin and death.

My mom is going to be cremated. I suggested to my family that we each place a piece of myrrh on her body, and it would be one last way we could annoint and honor my mom. As she is cremated the myrrh will burn and we will have honored our mom in a very special way. We each placed the myrrh on her body solemnly and reverently before her funeral service saturday afternoon.

As I thought about these special preparations, I realized that my mom was also blessed as my sister, her best friend, and my sister-in-law had a special evening with my mom the last night she was in this world. They took fragrant lotion and moisturized mom's skin with it as they shared a "girls night" with her. I don't think any of us realized what they were actually doing that night. They were preparing mom's body in a similar way to the woman who poured out the spike nard on Jesus. What they did was a good thing, and it deserves to be told again.

We're all going to miss my mom, but I'm glad that each one of us could honor her in some very ancient and special ways. She is a beautiful lady, and we have been blessed to be able to serve and honor her in beautiful ways even after she has departed from us.

May we all remember those who have gone before us, and live faithfully honoring the One who went before each of us to conquer the sting of death and give us victory and life eternal.

Off To Be With Jesus

Off To Be With Jesus, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Yesterday at 1:10PM, my mom left her body on this earth, and went to be with Jesus. My brother had spent the night in her room with her, and called the rest of us to come down because she wasn’t being real responsive.

We came down and sat with her from about 9AM on. We prayed with her and talked with her, and told her how much we will love and miss her. We shared memories with her as she lay there before us. One by one, aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends gathered by my mom’s side and spoke words of love to her. She was sent off with prayers and words of love from so many people. (As I tried to recount this to you, I started weeping because it was such a beautiful experience, and I can’t fully convey to you in this brief blog exactly what was happening in my mom’s presence.)

Her room was packed. People were trailing out the hallway. She was loved by so many people. We’re all going to miss her, but we were all mixing tears of sadness with tears of joy in that room as we spoke to my mom. My mom is with Jesus right now. She doesn’t have cancer, or arthritis, or any number of other ailments that were afflicting her. She has joy unlike any we’ve ever experienced.

Watching my mom pass out of this world and into the presence of God, I am so thankful that we are a people of hope. The gospel allows us to persevere in hope for a day when there are no more tears, no more hunger, and all of the injustice in the world we see will be made right.

My mom is gone, but she has left a wonderful legacy and challenge to us as a family as we attempt to imitate her faith, hope, and love—and to tell others of the joy she, and we, have found in joyful surrender to King Jesus.

I’ve had a great deal of technical difficulty communicating with people over the last day, but I figured I might be able to use this blog as a starting point. Even as early as yesterday afternoon, I started receiving emails, txts, AIM’s, and voicemails of encouragement from many wonderful people. It has been unfortunate that I haven’t been able to respond to everyone’s encouraging words, but I am so thankful for your kindness, your prayers, and your support in this difficult time. It’s beautiful to see how the Church rallies at times like this to love and care for those in need and to bear one another’s burdens.

I know some are wondering about arrangements, and I would like to communicate that through this blog. The details of her obituary can be found by following this link and clicking on Patricia Ann Williams (that's Mom!). You can even sign an “online guestbook” through the funeral home.

I’m tremendously grateful again for the grace God has shown my family throughout my mom’s battle with cancer. As she told a fellow believer when they were both diagnosed—“No matter what happens, we win!!!” Indeed we are more than conquerors!

Thanks for continuing in support and prayers for me and my family. Please forgive me for an apparent lack of response, but I truly do appreciate your comments, emails, AIMs, txts, and voicemails. They are a blessing to both me and my entire family.

Roller Coaster

Roller Coaster, originally uploaded by Markku_.

I found this photo on flickr, and I believe it represents a strong similarity how we’ve been feeling back here over the last couple of days.

Well, it’s been a couple of days since I could blog about what’s happening here. I’m so grateful for the ability to keep in touch with so many people through this blog. It’s been difficult to stay connected as well as I would like with folks, but this blog certainly helps. In fact, a few folks have left some wonderful comments that have been an encouragement to me and the family.

Overall, my mom is doing amazingly well. We were prepared for her to go be with Jesus the moment we removed the chest tube. Saturday she shared one of the longest and most spiritual monologues I’ve ever heard my mom utter. She shared a vision she had experienced of heaven. We were all deeply moved to say the least. We reassured her that if she felt like going off to be with Jesus we were all going to be ok. She said that she knew it, but didn’t want us to send her off just yet. She said she wanted to stick around a while longer if that was alright. We emphatically assured her it was fine with us!

Sunday, we continued sharing stories, and laughing. I even had a couple of friends come down from Morgantown and offer prayers and counsel for the family. Saturday night, we started a rotating shift of folks staying in the room with mom. We just wanted to have constant care for her. I’ve stayed here two of the last three nights.

Nobody expected mom to respond so well. In fact, the hospital moved her into a “Transitional Care Unit” yesterday. It’s the equivalent of an in-house nursing home at the hospital site for people who are “to healthy to be in the hospital, but not quite strong enough to be at home yet.”

She started a fairly intense PT regimen today. She will be getting assistance twice a day. My brother and I started a log to keep track of medical reports/needs so as we “change shifts” we can make sure that none of her needs are overlooked by the staff here.

So what’s up with the roller coaster? I would say that over the last few days, our entire family has run through a wide spectrum of intense emotions. We still aren’t sure of mom’s status,but we get the feeling that the physicians aren’t quite sure what to make of her either. I think rotating in shifts has been helpful, but we are all pretty tired—which makes me incredibly glad to see how well mom’s doing.

In spite of our physical, emotional, and mental fatigue, we are staying close together and loving and supporting one another through every step of my mom’s journey—we have been together in this since day one. While we’ve all experienced the thrills and the twists and turns of the roller coaster, spiritually we have been sustained amazingly through all of this. Regardless of the outcome too, we are each realizing more and more, the treasure that we have in our mom, and the importance of each moment.

It’s kind of like Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” We’ve all been resting and trusting in the Messiah in increasing degrees of the last few days. He truly is our strength and shield. I hope that as you read this you will also take a moment to let Jesus words soak into your mind. In the middle of life’s roller coasters, He is THE Source of stability and strength. May you know His peace in the same richness we have experienced here in our own situation.

Support and Family

Support and Family, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This year, I knew I would be staying in Morgantown for the summer working on getting our café ready for the fall, and developing our leaders in the community of h2o. As a result, I decided to try my hand at planting a garden.

Among the different seeds I planted were corn, beans, and squash. Among, American Indian people (at least from my own Shawnee culture but I've heard the practice is widespread), these three crops are planted together. Typically, when non-indian people think of "Indian food", they think of corn, beans, and squash.

According to tradition, there's a reason these are planted together. They are called the "three sisters" and they help each other grow. You see, the corn takes nitrogen from the soil as it grows. Beans provide nitrogen for the soil, and so they add to the nutrient base of the corn. The squash has broad leaves that spread over the ground and eliminate competition from other weeds that would try to hurt the other two sisters.

There's a lot we can learn from these three sisters. As my family has been walking through my mom's illness together, we have often relied on one another's gifts and strengths to support each other and support Mom. Yesterday, we took her off the ventilator, and it was a really scary and traumatic experience for all of us. The nurse explained to us that she may go on to be with Jesus in a matter of seconds or days.

We stayed there with her and told her how much we loved her, and that whatever she wanted to do would be fine with us. If she wanted to go be with Jesus, we were all ok with it, but we would miss her. We wept and prayed with her, and she is currently in a different room in the hospital--after nearly three weeks she is out of ICU.

Now she can have multiple visitors, and people can stay longer hours with her. We are so thankful for the grace God has given us in allowing my mom to stay with us and share time with us.

In the middle of it all, I am personally very thankful for the love and support we as a family have shown each other through it all. We have prayed, wept, and loved each other strongly through the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ who indwells each one of us. We have walked through many difficult decisions together, and in the middle of it all we know that it is God who sustains and supports us and causes our growth, but it sure is beautiful to be reminded that He has given us each other to contribute in unique ways as we grow and to support one another, just like the Three Sisters.

Palm Trees

Palm Trees, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

I've been having some difficulties with my camera recently, and so this picture comes from a trip I took to visit my brother a few years ago in southern California. Or SoCal for you west coast insiders. ;)

You may have been wondering about my mom's current status and how she and my family are doing. I'll try to share with you, but please forgive me if my writing is not fully coherent. Yesterday evening, I made a quick trip down to Parkersburg to meet with her oncologist. He shared her condition with my dad, me, my sister, and my brother-in-law. (My brother is currently in California). She has been on a ventilator since Sunday. It appears that her body has grown somewhat dependent on it.

Last August, you may remember, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. She was given 6 months to live w/o treatment and 18 mo with treatment. Honestly, she was making amazing progress with regard to her cancer. But cancer has not been her only malady. On top of the cancer, a combination of high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, congestive heart failure, and some form of heart disease have been combining to cause her to become very weak. She has been in ICU since may 13th, and has been in a very weak condition for over a month.

It has been a very difficult time for me and my family, and we have prayed fervently for wisdom, guidance, and healing in this situation (I know that you also may have been praying similar prayers in agreement). Right now my mom's body is very fragile, and she probably doesn't have much time left on this earth before she goes to be with Jesus. While I am sad at the loss of my mom, I'm also extremely happy because I know that being with Christ is far better (phil 1.21-23). She has labored well for her King, and I am excited for her to be able to go home.

Sometime this evening, I am travelling to Columbus, OH to pick up my brother at the airport. His flight arrives @5.49AM Thursday. We will travel back to Parkersburg to spend time with my mom and assist my dad with whatever arrangements need to be made.

May has been a difficult month for many in our community at h2o, but the LORD has sustained us. Often when I am praying for you, I am amazed by your faith and perseverance--it is truly an encouragement to me. Personally, as I have reflected on my own situation, I have found solace in the truth that God is good and trustworthy, and He takes the adversity we go through and makes something beautiful out of it. I think that in spite of all that we have undergone, we have a beautiful community called the church that even in our weakness grows stronger each day.

I want to thank you again for taking the time to pray for my family. Continue to pray for God's wisdom, guidance, and healing as we navigate these difficult waters. Pray that God would be glorified by our actions and attitudes and that in the midst of it all that God would use our circumstances and our responses to lead others to Him.

For from Him, and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
(Romans 11.36)

Ohio River Sunset

Ohio River Sunset, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

It never fails. Any time I try to get word out for people to check my blog out for updates on thngs that are happening in my life it seems that I have a really hard time blogging for about a week from that point.

So here I am, running around all over and trying to carve out space to blog. I thought this would make a nice little photo because it depicts one of my favorite places in the world. This is the view from "the point", just outside the floodwall in Parkersburg, West Virginia. For generations, my family has come to this place to watch the sun set, to pray, to reflect, to weep, and to enjoy the company of the waters.

The old timers called this river several names, but I think the french named it rightly La Belle Rivière, or, the Beautiful River. I took this photo when I visited the river with two of my uncles last fall--they are both cancer survivors.

Right now, I'm at home, near my river, and near family. The doctors involved with my mom met to talk about possible options for her. Soon they will share their options with us, and we will weigh out which one seems best for my mom. Right now, we believe they are going to suggest moving her to a more comprehensive cancer treatment center--possibly the James Center at Ohio State or the Mary Babb Randolph Cancer Center at WVU.

I am so thankful for the prayers that have gone out from you, and I ask that you keep them up. They are sustaining us. Please pray for us as we go to meet with the doctor. I will try to post an update in the near future.

It's interesting to me in the middle of all of this how God shows himself at work in such amazing ways. As I left the hospital with my sister this evening, I couldn't help but notice another beautiful sunset. God shows us these little signs of beauty and care like sunsets on a river. God is beautiful, and reminds us daily of the beauty in our world.

So much of our days we spend running from appointment to appointment, and event to event, and we miss out on the rich blessings God offers freshly every moment. As you pray, take time to cherish the rich blessings God is revealing all around you right . . . NOW!

Relay for Life

Relay for Life, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This picture was taken 2 years ago when my folks and I were able to take a whirlwind tour of disney's theme parks thanks to the generosity of a friend who worked there.

But that's not what this post is about. It's about the upcoming relay for life in Parkersburg. The event is scheduled for May 18-19, and I'm putting a team together to support my mom and three of my uncles.

I would love for you to be part of the action. If you click this link, you can see our team page. When you get to the page, click the link that says join our team. The rest should be pretty self explanatory. Let me know if you have any difficulties.

Thanks for helping out, and even if you can't join the team and be there, your prayers are definitely appreciated!!! Mom starts her third round of chemotherapy on the fifteenth, so we are hoping she will have some energy for the weekend too! She's gonna be taking Paclitaxel (which is a drug we used to make when i was at Mylan--pretty wild!)

Anyhoo, I've been down here with her for a couple of days. She hasn't felt like posing for the camera over the last month, so I haven't had any recent photos. But, I will tell you that she has a totally sweet spiked hairdo--mom's just so trendy!

Thanks again for taking the time to check out the link, join the team, and pray!

Brothers

More Brothers, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

One of the best things about this whole cancer challenge is the fact that my family has been so tight through it all. I took this picture of my dad and another one of my uncles this afternoon after he visited my mom for a bit. I love getting together with my family, because we can always find something to laugh about. Laughter is healing. I'm grateful for so many wonderful relatives who taught me from a young age the importance of laughter and the importance of stories.

The uncle in this picture is the one I am named after--he's my uncle Bill. I'm Billy though. That's how you tell us apart. He's another one of my relatives who has kicked cancer's booty.

My family has survived a lot of crazy stuff. Back in the day when Indians received smallpox infested blankets, somehow some of my ancestors survived. We keep on keepin' on. We refuse to give up or give in. In the word's of Joe Dirt, "You gotta not have no in your heart!" We don't lay down easy--we "Endeavor to persevere." (Quote from The Outlaw Josey Wales. Now cancer has tried to come after many of my relatives, but we are fighting the good fight together as we pray for and love one another.

My mom is the latest in that tradition. She's a fighter and she is mega-stubborn. I like it--it explains a lot about me. (By the way--my dad and everyone else in my family are the same way).

So my mom had both of her kidneys blocked yesterday, and she had minor surgery to open up the flow. I think she drained something like 6-8 Liters of fluid in the last 24 hours. She was breathing easier today, but she is pretty tired. She's been through a lot the last few days as well as the last few months. Even amid this fatigue and weakness, she mustered the fortitude to sit up in a chair for a bit this evening. I imagine she will be able to come home soon, but we still have a cloud of uncertainty about that.

Tomorrow more answers should be provided, but for now we wait. We wait to find out what caused the blockage of her kidneys. We wait to find out what is going on with the large rash on her right breast. We wait to find out what the next steps are we should take. And most importantly, we wait on the sovereign LORD to direct us and the doctors in the next step of the journey.

Please join with us in prayer and in waiting.

Mom's Love

Mom's Love, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Nothing is quite like the love of a mother is it? Doesn't my mom look absolutely beautiful? Yesterday I went home for the morning to get some work done on my car, and more importantly, to visit my family (even if it was only for a couple of hours).

It was pretty cool hanging out with her and Dad in the morning. We were even able to have some lunch together--she made some home made beef and vegetable soup--it was delicious!!!

She's starting to grow her hair back, but it's still too short for her liking, so she insisted on the do-rag for this picture.

It was really cool while I was there because she set a personal record for distance on the exercise bike. She has been riding pretty regularly, and she rode 2.7 miles yesterday!!! For you cyclists, that may not seem like a big deal, but my mom has never really exercised--it's huge!!! I'm so stinkin' proud of her. And to tell you the truth, I think she can go further than that. I'm really excited about the difference exercise is making in her life right now.

She and Dad are on their way back to our "mountain chalet" to celebrate her recent test results. They've packed up their fishing rods, and are going for a one day trip to our not so secret stream (which was just stocked yesterday btw!). She is kicking cancer's booty--and I'm lovin' it!!! Her tumor has shrunk, pretty significantly in my estimation. It has gone from an 11.9 to a 2.9 SUV ( I have no idea what that means, but I understand ratios, and that to me means that this tumor is about 1/4 it's size at the time of her last scan in November.)

There is some fluid around her lung though, so she is going to have an ultrasound and find out those results in a couple of weeks. Thanks soooo much for continuing to pray for her, and for our family!