My Sister And Her Husband--The Runners

 This past weekend Jamie and I made the drive to Parkersburg in an effort to celebrate Father's Day with my dad, see his new automobile, get an oil change and radiator flush, and pack as much visiting with friends and relatives as was possible. Unfortunately we were not able to see as many folks as we would have liked, but maybe during a future trip.

We awoke early Saturday morning to watch Becky and Ray (my sister and brother-in-law) run a 5K in Parkersburg. It's pretty cool to see them running. It was less than three years ago that my sister got started running. She won her age group, and Ray got second place in his. They were neck and neck the entire race. With Ray slightly ahead. Somehow Becky was able to turn on the jets to pass her husband at the end of the race.

What's even more impressive is that my sister managed to have enough energy to run four additional miles with me and Jamie a couple of hours after her race. I love catching up like that because it keeps you from getting distracted by other things that are really not super important or urgent. We live in a culture that is easily distracted, and I think that people have a hard time being fully present in the moment. There's so much we want to fit into a day, but there's only so much we can do with our waking hours, and do it well and with our whole heart. Running is one way to eliminate those other distractions.

More impressive than my sister's running exploits to me is the consideration that three years ago she didn't run. She stepped out of her comfort zone and tried something new, and what she discovered was that she had a gift and a passion for running. I love seeing my sister come alive the way she has. She and her husband have cultivated a habit that has led them to a healthier lifestyle in general, and that allows them to spend quality time together. She has also discovered a whole new array of friends who help spur her on and nurture her gift.

I believe that we all have gifts, skills, and talents that we may be letting lie dormant. My sister and her husband love running, and I feel like there are many friends that they would have never met had they not stepped out and begun to discover a talent and passion that they never knew they had.

What talent is it that you may be letting lie dormant? Is there a habit or discipline that you need to start or re-start? My prayer is that you discover your unique gift, begin to exercise it, and bless others through it. I believe that the world would be a much better place if we all began moving from thought to action. Maybe our gifts are one way God may want to bring healing to others, and to ourselves.

Five Years

Today marks five years since my mom left this world and journeyed to be with Jesus. The time has passed so quickly. It really feels weird to think about how much my life and the life of my family has changed since she went home to be with Jesus. I wish she could have been around to see it all, and that she was still here with us, but she has gone on to a far better place. She no longer suffers the challenges of high blood pressure, type two diabetes, congestive heart failure or metastatic invasive carcinoma breast cancer. And when I list out all of those challenges she faced daily, it makes it even more impressive she stayed with us for as long as she did. 

In 2007, I cut a significant amount of my hair in honor of my mom, and in 2008, I cut the remainder of my locks in honor of her, and to mourn her loss as per our Shawnee tradition. I’ve not grown it back since. My brothers, Chuck and Willie, both made sacrifices of their locks as well. Chuck even shaved his mustache—a permanent fixture on his face since the 80s. Even Willie’s son Christian shaved his head in honor of my mom. Willie also wrote this beautiful song to honor and remember her upon her passing. It still brings tears to my eyes as the memories come flooding back of her courageous last days on this earth.

I started my first garden the year my mom died. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot through my dabblings in local agriculture, but more than anything, I’ve been reminded of lessons she and Dad taught me about planting, growing, harvesting, and hard work. Of course like any kid, I didn’t enjoy the discipline at the time, but I can look back with immense gratitude now.

And within a month of mom saying goodbye, I began to have serious conversations about global poverty and international development withmy longtime friends Jake Harriman and John Hancox. These conversations along with extensive reading and research on the subject, and much prayer, fasting, and wrestling, led me to a significant career change as I joined my friends as they started Nuru International. I’m grateful that I have been able to deepen my service to others, and invite more people to confront the crisis of extreme poverty in our world. I really wish mom could have been here to see what we have been able to accomplish in the five years since she died, but I am incredibly grateful my dad has been here cheering us on in this work.

And a little over a year ago, I got married. I wish my mom could have spent more time with Jamie. She’s absolutely incredible, and I think they would have absolutely loved each other. They are two of the best examples I know when it comes to compassion and caring for people around them.

And then there’s my sister. She left a ten year job at a doctor’s office to start a new career this year. Not only that, but my sister has become quite the runner. It seems like every weekend she is getting a new trophy or award for her running exploits. Since the year my mom went to be with Jesus, Becky has led our family in participation with the Wood County Relay For Life. Mom was never able to attend—the first year, she was in ICU. Little did we know she would be leaving so soon. And Becky had her own bout with cancer in 2007 too. Just a month after mom’s parting, she had a malignant melanoma removed. She’s a survivor.

Dad was walking twelve miles a day, and riding his bike 20-30 miles 2-3 times per week after mom died. And then in 2009, he had a massive heart attack. It was utterly unexpected. Dad has always been healthier than most people half his age. Since that attack he doesn’t walk twelve miles a day anymore, but he is probably in better shape and eating better than ever before. As much as we kids miss mom, Dad lost his best friend of 43 years. Dad continues to be an example of generosity and compassion to others too. He supports Becky at virtually every race she runs, and he maintains his garden the way he has done for years and gives away significant portions of its bounty.

My brother, well he is still working in the same job, but his level of responsibility keeps increasing. He’s an extremely talented engineer. And he lives and loves sacrificially with his time. He’s up at 430AM virtually every day to drive himself and several coworkers to work and stays up late to make sure dogs are walked and chores are done. And further, his son has graduated high school and is a student at Notre Dame (not WVU, but still not a bad education).

And in the last five years, each one of us has grown in our faith as well as in our service to others. My dad just recently took the steps to join his church and was baptized the same day.

On Mom's last trip to the hospital, my sister, dad, and I spent the day with her, and I left the hospital to drive to Morgantown to receive my MA in English. I leaned down to hug her and told her, “I’ll try to make you proud tomorrow mom.” As I stood up, she looked at me with her eyes filled of compassion, as she breathed deeply from the oxygen tube running under her nose. She smiled and said, “Every day you make me proud.” Those words echo in my mind every time I think of her. She loved each one of us well, and she showed us by example, even during her last days, how to love the people who cross our paths in seemingly random ways.

I wish mom was still with us, but one day we will reunite with much rejoicing. And until that day, we will labor, and dedicate the remainder of our days to love God and love others well, and to work to serve our neighbors both locally and globally. I know that if she were here, she would continue to be so proud of each of us. I know she would be cheering us on alongside Dad, and she would be cheering Dad on as he maintains his health and faith so well.

Wherever and whoever you are, you have an opportunity today to make a choice. You and I have an opportunity each day to pour out a legacy of hope and compassion, to wisely steward the gifts we have been given, to love well, and to live well. And I pray we may live as an example worth imitating as we walk this earth, just like Mom.

Rose Among Thorns

My brother was back on the east coast for a ten day period that ended on September 15th. Since it has been over two years since he or any of his family have been back home, you would have thought we would have gone crazy snapping photos, but that was not the case. We were so busy making memories over that ten day period that we hardly took time to capture them.

I guess we were relying on our minds to capture the memories, but every once in a while, it's nice to have a camera around to supplement those memories. This photo was taken on the last night that me, my sister, and my brother were together at my dad's house.

My sister get's a fair share of grief from her brothers (I think that's the way it typically happens), but you know what? My sister is an incredible lady. She puts up with me and my brother's teasings, but she also simply sacrifices her time and energy to help others. She's incredibly disciplined, and puts her all into anything she does.

It was incredible spending time with her and my brother, but I want to dedicate this post to her. She truly is a rose, and as much as I tease her (as most brothers do), she has my utmost respect for the woman she is. If you ever get a chance to meet her, you'll understand what I mean.

So this post is going out to all of you brothers who give your sisters a hard time. Maybe take a minute or two today and let your sister know how special she is. Call her. Write her a note. Blog about her. Whatever it is, just take a moment and let her know she's loved.

Seriously. Do it.

Survivor

Survivor, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

That's my sister.
She's a Shawnee Indian.
She's beautiful.
She rocks my world!
She is a cancer survivor.

This year, my sister chose to be captain of our relay for life team. She coordinated everything. She raised funds, and got our camp site together. She helped keep us all together and kept us up to date on what was going on during the weekend.

She found out she had melanoma less than a month after my mom went to be with Jesus, and everything looks good in her world right now. No cancer, but she is being careful.

My sister is such an awesome woman. My brother-in-law really got a catch. I am so grateful for her, and it is so cool to see how god she is at being organized and administratively smart--not my forté at all.

She did an amazing job coordinating our team this year, and she did all kinds of little above and beyond type things. When we got to the site there was a poster honoring Mom there. She had pins made with photos of each of us with Mom on them. I don't think of those touches--Becky does.

One of the reasons why I'm so glad we had a large group from Morgantown come is because she doesn't make it up this way often. I want as many people as possible to see how incredible she is, and my friends who were at relay got a chance to see just a glimpse of that.

She's a survivor, she's my sister, and she's an amazing lady. I'm so proud of her efforts to coordinate our team.

Relay For Life 2008

Relay For Life 2008, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Well, it's that time of year again. Last year I stepped out in faith and started a relay for life team composed of friends and relatives, and this year, my sister has improved on that team. I have a tendency to be more likely to step out in faith and try a new venture, my sister has a tendency to take an endeavor and improve on it. So this year's team is even better than last year.

My mom went to be with Jesus on June 6, 2007 after a 10 month battle with cancer. We started last year's team to support her in her fight. This year, we are walking as a way of honoring her, and supporting my sister, and three uncles. My sister had melanoma, and three of my uncles had three different types of cancer. I also had an aunt who died from cancer when I was in junior high--we walk in remembrance of her as well.

I figured I would share this event with you a little bit before the relay begins Friday night. Just in case you wanted to join the team or make a donation. We are probably not the typical relay team. Some teams work year round to raise money for cancer research. Some teams do bake sales and even sell jewelry and other items--even at the relay event. Our team will be composed of people who have been raising funds, but primarily our team will be a group of people who are walking together in solidarity, and celebrating care and hope and faith.

I would love it if you could make the trip to parkersburg--or if you live in Parkersburg, if you would join us for a bit at the City Park. We will be camping there on Friday night. The event runs from 6PM Friday to noon Saturday. Last year was a lot of fun, and this year should be no different. (Although from weather reports, it may be much wetter!)

Thanks for taking a moment to pray for my family, and please consider coming to visit our aerobically charged faith venture in Parkersburg this weekend.

Birthday Visitors

This past Sunday, I returned from a faith venture in the DC area to find three guests waiting for me at my house. My dad, my sister, and my dad's dog, Daisy. They had made the long trek from Parkersburg to Morgantown to spend a little time with me on my birthday. Thankfully we had semi-decent weather for Morgantown in late March, and we could enjoy a little hike--something it appears everyone in my family enjoys doing. (My mom enjoyed the outdoors, but her knees were in such bad shape she could never really hike with the rest of us, but she always enjoyed being out and about.)
After taking me to lunch at Texas Roadhouse , we came back to the house, picked up Daisy and headed to one of my favorite hiking trails nearby. (Can you believe there was still a 40 minute wait at Cheddars @2PM?) I would tell you about the trail, but one of the things I enjoy most about it is that not a lot of people know about it, so it's like a private sanctuary. In fact, it was such a nice day I was a little concerned the trail would be crowded, but we were the only car there when we arrived.
The trail meanders along a mountain stream, so one can enjoy the sound of the water as one hikes (unless it is summer and we haven't had a lot of rain, and then this is one of the most depressing places in the world to be!)
Anyway, it was great to share this space with my sister and dad--if only my brother were here to enjoy it also. (sigh) I often go to this trail to think and to pray. There's a spot where I like to go (I took these photos from that spot) to sit, pray, reflect, and soak my feet in the cool mountain water (I typically will do this year round!)
Unfortunately we couldn't linger too long in the woods on this trip. They had to return home, and didn't want to arrive too late. Regardless, I think my dad and sister enjoyed their visit, and I know I really enjoyed sharing some time with them.

Maybe I'll see more of them as the weather warms up, and maybe my brother Chuck and my other brother Willie will make their way out here too!

Sister

Sister, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This past saturday, I drove down to Parkersburg to surprise my dad and sister! Last Thursday, my sister had a big chunk of skin on the back of her leg surgically removed in an effort to insure the melanoma she was diagnosed with was thoroughly eradicated. The surgery (and simultaneous skin graft) insure her with 96% confidence that the melanoma should be completely gone.

Anyway, she's been having a tough time. She has to be extremely careful with the skin graft, and her leg has been incredibly sore over the last few days. She is accustomed to walking several miles a day, and for the next few days her walking will need to be significantly curtailed. Not only that, she's been doing a lot of lying on her side too. She has really been a trooper through it all!

So today, she gets some of the bandaids taken off her leg and skin graft area, and she is attempting to return to work.

My sister is gentle and lady-like, but she is also tough as nails, just like our momma. I'm so thoroughly proud of my sister for the way she has gone through this challenge.

And then this morning I read something in scripture that I feel is an encouragement to anybody like my sister who is facing tough times.

In Deuteronomy 1.30, it says, "The LORD your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes."

When we are going through those tough times, the LORD is with us, and He fights for us. Just like He did, when we were slaves in "Egypt".

Going through a challenge? Remember the LORD who fights for you, who rescued you, and who gives you the ability to stand.

Becky on the Road

Becky on the Road, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Well, I was on the phone with my brother earlier today, and we realized something. It has been four weeks since my mom left this earth--and it is also four weeks until he and my nephew arrive back east for a brief visit.

Four weeks have gone by. I can hardly believe it. Sometimes it seems like something from the distant past, like a dream almost. Other times it is like it is something that is happening right now as we walk through the memories of our wonderful mom, and continue to deal with the adjustments that come from the loss of a loved one.

And just yesterday, I received a phone call from my sister. You see, we're all talking a lot more now, but this call was different. She had recently had a mole removed and she found out the results of that removal yesterday. It was a melanoma.

Thankfully it was caught early. It was really small (like 1mm). She found out today, that there's a 96% chance that it was entirely removed, but there is going to be some follow up work to insure that is the case.

Four weeks, and now my sister and our family have a new challenge. We all feel very confident that my sister will be fine, but just the same, we would appreciate the prayers. Her cancer is at stage 1A so she was able to catch it early.

At this point, there is very little left to do but wait for a final confirmation test, and then my sister will begin a process of 3-4 check ups per year and closely monitoring the site. She's doing fine and really keeping her spirits up in the middle of it all, but she (and the rest of us) are still just a little anxious.

If you would, please take a second right now and lift her up in prayer, specifically that God would comfort her and give her peace in the middle of an anxious situation.

Four weeks, and my dad is hearing this news about his daughter. Four weeks, and it seems like the world expects thing to go back to the daily grind. Four weeks, and soon my brother and nephew will be joining us again. Four weeks, and now it's time to celebrate independence. Personally, I would rather revel in the fact that we have a great community of loving friends and family who help us bear one another's burdens.

As we look to the future (just like Becky is looking out ahead in this picture), we can be comforted in the fact that we know God is good, and He is truly our sustainance and help in every situation.

Siblings

Siblings, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Yesterday was my sister's birthday. She began the conversion to the world of Apple with the acquisition of an ipod nano--I'm so excited for her!

Yesterday was also the day my brother had to catch a flight to the west coast.

The three of us had an awesome day together, and I think we ended up arriving at our destination around the same time. Chuck called me just as I was dropping becky and her husband off at their house.

You know, this last year has afforded the three of us more time together than we have experienced since my brother graduated college. It's been a wonderful time, and it gives me a greater and greater appreciation of my siblings, their talents, and their love.

It feels kind of weird today as we are slowly going back to our "normal" routine. The whole past week seems pretty surreal to be honest.

I already miss my brother, and my sister, well over the last few months I have been able to more fully appreciate what a wonderful lady she is. I'm honored to be her brother, and I find myself learning from her every time we're together.

To be honest, I revel in the moments I have with my siblings. It's a shame we aren't together more, but I think that's the way you are supposed to feel about people you love.

Support and Family

Support and Family, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This year, I knew I would be staying in Morgantown for the summer working on getting our café ready for the fall, and developing our leaders in the community of h2o. As a result, I decided to try my hand at planting a garden.

Among the different seeds I planted were corn, beans, and squash. Among, American Indian people (at least from my own Shawnee culture but I've heard the practice is widespread), these three crops are planted together. Typically, when non-indian people think of "Indian food", they think of corn, beans, and squash.

According to tradition, there's a reason these are planted together. They are called the "three sisters" and they help each other grow. You see, the corn takes nitrogen from the soil as it grows. Beans provide nitrogen for the soil, and so they add to the nutrient base of the corn. The squash has broad leaves that spread over the ground and eliminate competition from other weeds that would try to hurt the other two sisters.

There's a lot we can learn from these three sisters. As my family has been walking through my mom's illness together, we have often relied on one another's gifts and strengths to support each other and support Mom. Yesterday, we took her off the ventilator, and it was a really scary and traumatic experience for all of us. The nurse explained to us that she may go on to be with Jesus in a matter of seconds or days.

We stayed there with her and told her how much we loved her, and that whatever she wanted to do would be fine with us. If she wanted to go be with Jesus, we were all ok with it, but we would miss her. We wept and prayed with her, and she is currently in a different room in the hospital--after nearly three weeks she is out of ICU.

Now she can have multiple visitors, and people can stay longer hours with her. We are so thankful for the grace God has given us in allowing my mom to stay with us and share time with us.

In the middle of it all, I am personally very thankful for the love and support we as a family have shown each other through it all. We have prayed, wept, and loved each other strongly through the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ who indwells each one of us. We have walked through many difficult decisions together, and in the middle of it all we know that it is God who sustains and supports us and causes our growth, but it sure is beautiful to be reminded that He has given us each other to contribute in unique ways as we grow and to support one another, just like the Three Sisters.

Fine Dining with Family

Fine Dining with Family, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Sunday night after h2o, my family went to casa d'amici for some good eats and QT together with some of our h2o community.

I am filled with joy every time I look at this photo. It's been incredible living together and doing things together for a couple of days.

It pops all of these cool memories into my mind. Like, we used to eat meals together virtually every night as a family. Or at least that's how I remember it. it might not have been every night, but it was a regular occurance. We would sit down and eat a home-cooked meal together.

I can remember my sister having her friends over, and how I would always be the rotten little brother who would come in and bug her and her friends because that's what little brothers do, and that's how I roll.

I can remember me and my brother staying up really late at night on weekends and playing trivial pursuit against each other. Sometimes he would even let me win, or at least come close.

I can remember our old house. I thought it was a really nice house, but we all live in houses that are so much nicer now.

It wasn't ever about the location though--it was about the people.

What about you? Are you taking time to enjoy moments with the people who are around you? It seems like folks will always be around, but now my family lives in four different houses. We don't stay up late playing trivial pursuit. We don't even get a meal together that often.

But those moments . . .

They are always precious.

Siblings

Siblings, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Can you believe my parents were able to bring up the three of us? It was soooo incredible to spend time together this weekend.

I think I've got a great brother and sister. It's a shame that we all live such busy lives that we don't spend more time with each other.

My sister and brother are amazing. A lot of people don't get along with their siblings, but I am sooooo grateful for mine.

They had to put up with me being a rotten little brother, and they still love me. I think Mom and Dad gave us each a big heart for one another, and for other people as well. We had so much fun laughing together this weekend. I am going to cherish our moments for sure.

I hope you take some time to cherish your siblings today too.

Bro and Sis

Bro and Sis, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Sunday night, my family came up for the evening in Morgantown. We went to Casa D'Amici for some delicious pizza at the end of the evening. Here is a great picture of my awesome sister and me. Isn't she beautiful?

Sorry fellas, but she is taken.

It was really great spending time together over the past couple of days.

Becky and Ray

Becky and Ray, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

After a wonderful day of surf and sand at Cocoa Beach. I journeyed to the West Coast (of Florida) for a day of relaxation and celebration with my sister and her husband.

Me and my buddy Joe drove over and chillaxed along the gulf coast under a sunny sky. (It was anticipated that there would be 3-5 inches of rain, but it was a beautiful day.)

My sister was celebrating her Birthday, and so it was awesome that we were all able to spend the day together. We spent a little time in the gulf, did some body surfing (at least Joe and I did), and had some great conversations and great food while we hung out together.

Unfortunately we don't get many times together like that, but this makes me cherish my times with Becky and Ray even more.

I think sometimes it is really easy to get caught up in "doing" stuff and we miss out on quality times relaxing with those we care about and talking about things that matter in life.

I think my sister had a great day, and it was a blessing to hang out with her and her husband. It always is.

If you get a chance, today might be a good day to call someone you haven't talked to in a while (maybe a family member), and try to get together just to talk and hang out together.