Five Years

Today marks five years since my mom left this world and journeyed to be with Jesus. The time has passed so quickly. It really feels weird to think about how much my life and the life of my family has changed since she went home to be with Jesus. I wish she could have been around to see it all, and that she was still here with us, but she has gone on to a far better place. She no longer suffers the challenges of high blood pressure, type two diabetes, congestive heart failure or metastatic invasive carcinoma breast cancer. And when I list out all of those challenges she faced daily, it makes it even more impressive she stayed with us for as long as she did. 

In 2007, I cut a significant amount of my hair in honor of my mom, and in 2008, I cut the remainder of my locks in honor of her, and to mourn her loss as per our Shawnee tradition. I’ve not grown it back since. My brothers, Chuck and Willie, both made sacrifices of their locks as well. Chuck even shaved his mustache—a permanent fixture on his face since the 80s. Even Willie’s son Christian shaved his head in honor of my mom. Willie also wrote this beautiful song to honor and remember her upon her passing. It still brings tears to my eyes as the memories come flooding back of her courageous last days on this earth.

I started my first garden the year my mom died. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot through my dabblings in local agriculture, but more than anything, I’ve been reminded of lessons she and Dad taught me about planting, growing, harvesting, and hard work. Of course like any kid, I didn’t enjoy the discipline at the time, but I can look back with immense gratitude now.

And within a month of mom saying goodbye, I began to have serious conversations about global poverty and international development withmy longtime friends Jake Harriman and John Hancox. These conversations along with extensive reading and research on the subject, and much prayer, fasting, and wrestling, led me to a significant career change as I joined my friends as they started Nuru International. I’m grateful that I have been able to deepen my service to others, and invite more people to confront the crisis of extreme poverty in our world. I really wish mom could have been here to see what we have been able to accomplish in the five years since she died, but I am incredibly grateful my dad has been here cheering us on in this work.

And a little over a year ago, I got married. I wish my mom could have spent more time with Jamie. She’s absolutely incredible, and I think they would have absolutely loved each other. They are two of the best examples I know when it comes to compassion and caring for people around them.

And then there’s my sister. She left a ten year job at a doctor’s office to start a new career this year. Not only that, but my sister has become quite the runner. It seems like every weekend she is getting a new trophy or award for her running exploits. Since the year my mom went to be with Jesus, Becky has led our family in participation with the Wood County Relay For Life. Mom was never able to attend—the first year, she was in ICU. Little did we know she would be leaving so soon. And Becky had her own bout with cancer in 2007 too. Just a month after mom’s parting, she had a malignant melanoma removed. She’s a survivor.

Dad was walking twelve miles a day, and riding his bike 20-30 miles 2-3 times per week after mom died. And then in 2009, he had a massive heart attack. It was utterly unexpected. Dad has always been healthier than most people half his age. Since that attack he doesn’t walk twelve miles a day anymore, but he is probably in better shape and eating better than ever before. As much as we kids miss mom, Dad lost his best friend of 43 years. Dad continues to be an example of generosity and compassion to others too. He supports Becky at virtually every race she runs, and he maintains his garden the way he has done for years and gives away significant portions of its bounty.

My brother, well he is still working in the same job, but his level of responsibility keeps increasing. He’s an extremely talented engineer. And he lives and loves sacrificially with his time. He’s up at 430AM virtually every day to drive himself and several coworkers to work and stays up late to make sure dogs are walked and chores are done. And further, his son has graduated high school and is a student at Notre Dame (not WVU, but still not a bad education).

And in the last five years, each one of us has grown in our faith as well as in our service to others. My dad just recently took the steps to join his church and was baptized the same day.

On Mom's last trip to the hospital, my sister, dad, and I spent the day with her, and I left the hospital to drive to Morgantown to receive my MA in English. I leaned down to hug her and told her, “I’ll try to make you proud tomorrow mom.” As I stood up, she looked at me with her eyes filled of compassion, as she breathed deeply from the oxygen tube running under her nose. She smiled and said, “Every day you make me proud.” Those words echo in my mind every time I think of her. She loved each one of us well, and she showed us by example, even during her last days, how to love the people who cross our paths in seemingly random ways.

I wish mom was still with us, but one day we will reunite with much rejoicing. And until that day, we will labor, and dedicate the remainder of our days to love God and love others well, and to work to serve our neighbors both locally and globally. I know that if she were here, she would continue to be so proud of each of us. I know she would be cheering us on alongside Dad, and she would be cheering Dad on as he maintains his health and faith so well.

Wherever and whoever you are, you have an opportunity today to make a choice. You and I have an opportunity each day to pour out a legacy of hope and compassion, to wisely steward the gifts we have been given, to love well, and to live well. And I pray we may live as an example worth imitating as we walk this earth, just like Mom.

Untapped Energy

While visiting my brother in California, I've seen some different commercials on TV, and this one in particular I thought was really cool. It's a Chevron commercial talking about the oil industry and alternative energy sources. There's actually two or three I have seen no--including one that proclaims that chevron is the worlds leading producer/developer of geothermal energy. I hadn't really considered this type of energy until during the commercial it was shared that one plant could provide power for 7 million people. Pretty cool stuff.

My brother works for chevron, so I think it is cool to see the company he works for launch out and engage culture with the desire to work for solutions and pursue alternatives. Often the oil industry gets a bad rap as gas prices increase and make our lives a little more difficult.

But, in the spirit of the commercial, I have to ask, what about us? Are we getting innovative about getting around from point A to point B? Yesterday I was on a freeway in LA and I noticed that the overwhelming majority of cars on the road were single passengers. One evening I actually took a picture of an exquisite sunset through the smog produced by these vehicles (perhaps a future blog entry?).

As energy prices increase and we are tempted to complain, maybe it is time to start asking ourselves some hard questions about our own consumption habits. Do we really need multiple vehicles? Could we walk or bike instead of drive where we are going? Could we carpool--I mean really--do we all have to drive by ourselves to a place where other people we know are going? I could generate many more questions, and as I write this, I realize I need to contemplate this as much as any other person.

As I watched the video and thought about the concepts of this video, I think it would be easy to take it a step further. What untapped energy and potential are you not using? As the week comes to an end, maybe the next couple of days could be times of evalation and change--Sunday is the beginning of a new week after all!

Memories

Memories, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

I'm not sure when this picture was originally taken, or who the original photographer was. It's a photograph of me, Willie's wife, and his daughter standing outside our M'si Kah-miqui (Tribal Council House) in Maryland.

Saturday, I hung out with Willie and his family and I saw this picture, and I just thought it was awesome. There weren't any other pictures in the album we were looking at that had any relation to our tribal grounds.

It's kind of weird seeing an image like this and remembering how very important our Shawnee heritage is to each of us and it rekindles a desire to make sure that our culture gets passed on. It also reminds me of how beautiful our culture and our history has been. God definitely touched many lives through our time together on "the mountain" and gave us a richer appreciation of our faith.

My mom used to love going up on our tribal grounds for ceremonies, and so did my dad. But since my resignation from my chieftainship, it just hasn't been the same.

But at least there are memories and photographs--and even more there are ceremonies. Ceremonies that point us to King Jesus, the one who gives every good and perfect gift.

And traditions continue too. For instance, my brother recently received his name. Manitou Thee-po-wa-Thee. He waited a long time for his name, and he and I went about getting the name through honoring ancient traditions--like prayer.

You know there are many ancient traditions that we forget about every day. Studying the scripture, prayer, fasting, celebration, and worship are just a few. My challenge to you today is to soak in one of those ancient traditions, allow your memory to go back to a point in time when God did something beautiful in your life--remember and give thanks, celebrate and worship.

On the summit

On the summit, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Last Friday, I drove to Seneca Rocks with my brother, nephew, dad, sister, and brother-in-law. Together we hiked to the top of the rocks. This is my third such pilgrimmage in the last month. This time, I had the privilege of sharing the journey with my family.

My brother, interestingly enough, also recently hiked to the summit of Mount Whitney in California. While the views were significantly different, the appreciation of the summit was highly similar I'm sure.

So this week, we all returned to our "normal" routines. I returned to Morgantown to fully engage in the prep work involved in opening a cafe, as well as the work involved with preparing a church, and a college ministry for the arrival of approximately 27,000 students. My brother returned to the busyness of caring for his wife and son and balancing responsibilities to work, family, and community in his daily life.

My dad and sister and brother in law returned to not having us around, not waking up and planning out what we would do as a family, not sharing hikes, laughs, and quality time together.

It's been a period of adjustment. But isn't that the case with life. We are always going through periods of adjustment. Some days we are on the summit, and the view is beautiful, and the wind is blowing our hair across our face. And then some days are like a valley that gets no air, and it seems somewhat sufficating.

In the middle of it all, God remains constant. God walks with us in tough times. God is our sustainance and our hope.

Sunday I was talking with my dad and sister briefly en route from a baptism at our church in Morgantown where over 60 people were baptized, and they mentioned that one of our relatives had a stroke. My sister called yesterday afternoon to tell me that the same relative, Lizzie Cooper, went to be with Jesus yesterday.

Lizzie was an amazing woman of God, and an inspiration to many. Her departure was both sudden and unexpected. She was just recently teasing my dad because he missed Sunday school (he came up to Morgantown that weekend).

Now she is with my mom who is with Jesus. Everything is better than being on the summit for them. For us, we will continue to grow and persevere in faithfulness, using our time, our efforts, and our talents to glorify our maker Who is the true satisfaction of our lives. We will remember the summits, but even more we will remember the One who gave us the summit. We will lament the valleys, but even more we will praise the One who rescues us from an eternity far worse than any temporal valley.

Anticipation

Anticipation, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This picture was taken on June 3, 2007. We had just attended my dad's church, eaten some lunch, and Dad wanted to show my brother and nephew this place called fort boreman hill. Oddly enough, we didn't plan to color coordinate our attire--it just happened that way.

That river running behind us is the Ohio River. For generations, my family has lived along that river. When we needed time to think or to pray, we've journeyed to that river. It's been a place for us to go to remember, to reflect, and to contemplate the future.

It has also been a place for us to go make new memories like the one you see.

Today, I will travel across that river on my way to pick up my brother. It has been nearly two months since that day we hung out at fort boreman hill. It's weird when I think back to that day. The day before, my mom led us all through a wonderful and emotional spiritual experience. We were hopeful that mom would be home from the hospital soon. We had no idea that she wasn't coming to the place where dad and she had lived, but instead she went to her eternal home.

Tonight, i get to hang out with my other brother, Willie. I get to pick up my older brother chuck, and his son. I get to spend time with family. Everything I've been doing lately pales in comparison with that privilege. I truly can't wait to be on my way to columbus to pick them up. I think we will be returning to Morgantown the next day.

It's a really busy time of year for me as the return of students is fast approaching, but I'm looking forward to spending many spare moments in close community and fellowship with my family! I'm honored to be able to pick him up, and can't wait for our reunion!

Of course he is also pretty excited too I imagine. Among other things, he will probably be receiving his name while he is here. Plus, he gets to be reunited with family, and being with people you love and love you, that's pretty cool!

Siblings

Siblings, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Yesterday was my sister's birthday. She began the conversion to the world of Apple with the acquisition of an ipod nano--I'm so excited for her!

Yesterday was also the day my brother had to catch a flight to the west coast.

The three of us had an awesome day together, and I think we ended up arriving at our destination around the same time. Chuck called me just as I was dropping becky and her husband off at their house.

You know, this last year has afforded the three of us more time together than we have experienced since my brother graduated college. It's been a wonderful time, and it gives me a greater and greater appreciation of my siblings, their talents, and their love.

It feels kind of weird today as we are slowly going back to our "normal" routine. The whole past week seems pretty surreal to be honest.

I already miss my brother, and my sister, well over the last few months I have been able to more fully appreciate what a wonderful lady she is. I'm honored to be her brother, and I find myself learning from her every time we're together.

To be honest, I revel in the moments I have with my siblings. It's a shame we aren't together more, but I think that's the way you are supposed to feel about people you love.

Support and Family

Support and Family, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This year, I knew I would be staying in Morgantown for the summer working on getting our café ready for the fall, and developing our leaders in the community of h2o. As a result, I decided to try my hand at planting a garden.

Among the different seeds I planted were corn, beans, and squash. Among, American Indian people (at least from my own Shawnee culture but I've heard the practice is widespread), these three crops are planted together. Typically, when non-indian people think of "Indian food", they think of corn, beans, and squash.

According to tradition, there's a reason these are planted together. They are called the "three sisters" and they help each other grow. You see, the corn takes nitrogen from the soil as it grows. Beans provide nitrogen for the soil, and so they add to the nutrient base of the corn. The squash has broad leaves that spread over the ground and eliminate competition from other weeds that would try to hurt the other two sisters.

There's a lot we can learn from these three sisters. As my family has been walking through my mom's illness together, we have often relied on one another's gifts and strengths to support each other and support Mom. Yesterday, we took her off the ventilator, and it was a really scary and traumatic experience for all of us. The nurse explained to us that she may go on to be with Jesus in a matter of seconds or days.

We stayed there with her and told her how much we loved her, and that whatever she wanted to do would be fine with us. If she wanted to go be with Jesus, we were all ok with it, but we would miss her. We wept and prayed with her, and she is currently in a different room in the hospital--after nearly three weeks she is out of ICU.

Now she can have multiple visitors, and people can stay longer hours with her. We are so thankful for the grace God has given us in allowing my mom to stay with us and share time with us.

In the middle of it all, I am personally very thankful for the love and support we as a family have shown each other through it all. We have prayed, wept, and loved each other strongly through the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ who indwells each one of us. We have walked through many difficult decisions together, and in the middle of it all we know that it is God who sustains and supports us and causes our growth, but it sure is beautiful to be reminded that He has given us each other to contribute in unique ways as we grow and to support one another, just like the Three Sisters.

Palm Trees

Palm Trees, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

I've been having some difficulties with my camera recently, and so this picture comes from a trip I took to visit my brother a few years ago in southern California. Or SoCal for you west coast insiders. ;)

You may have been wondering about my mom's current status and how she and my family are doing. I'll try to share with you, but please forgive me if my writing is not fully coherent. Yesterday evening, I made a quick trip down to Parkersburg to meet with her oncologist. He shared her condition with my dad, me, my sister, and my brother-in-law. (My brother is currently in California). She has been on a ventilator since Sunday. It appears that her body has grown somewhat dependent on it.

Last August, you may remember, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. She was given 6 months to live w/o treatment and 18 mo with treatment. Honestly, she was making amazing progress with regard to her cancer. But cancer has not been her only malady. On top of the cancer, a combination of high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, congestive heart failure, and some form of heart disease have been combining to cause her to become very weak. She has been in ICU since may 13th, and has been in a very weak condition for over a month.

It has been a very difficult time for me and my family, and we have prayed fervently for wisdom, guidance, and healing in this situation (I know that you also may have been praying similar prayers in agreement). Right now my mom's body is very fragile, and she probably doesn't have much time left on this earth before she goes to be with Jesus. While I am sad at the loss of my mom, I'm also extremely happy because I know that being with Christ is far better (phil 1.21-23). She has labored well for her King, and I am excited for her to be able to go home.

Sometime this evening, I am travelling to Columbus, OH to pick up my brother at the airport. His flight arrives @5.49AM Thursday. We will travel back to Parkersburg to spend time with my mom and assist my dad with whatever arrangements need to be made.

May has been a difficult month for many in our community at h2o, but the LORD has sustained us. Often when I am praying for you, I am amazed by your faith and perseverance--it is truly an encouragement to me. Personally, as I have reflected on my own situation, I have found solace in the truth that God is good and trustworthy, and He takes the adversity we go through and makes something beautiful out of it. I think that in spite of all that we have undergone, we have a beautiful community called the church that even in our weakness grows stronger each day.

I want to thank you again for taking the time to pray for my family. Continue to pray for God's wisdom, guidance, and healing as we navigate these difficult waters. Pray that God would be glorified by our actions and attitudes and that in the midst of it all that God would use our circumstances and our responses to lead others to Him.

For from Him, and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
(Romans 11.36)

Guest Bed

Guest Bed, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Last night I spent the night at my mom and dads. I slept in the guest bed. Last time I was there, my brother was in the guest bed and I slept on the couch. it was kind of weird being there without him being there too.

I miss my brother.

Last night, I went walking with my sister and her husband along with my dad. Last time I was home, my sister and her husband had us over for dinner. We didn't make it over for dinner this time. My sister usually comes over before work and hangs out at my parents house. I had to leave this morning before she came. It was kind of weird to leave without seeing my sister this morning.

I miss my sister.

My family is awesome. I'm so glad that we are walking through this whole cancer thing together!

Fruit of the Vine

Fruit of the Vine, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

A few years ago, I went to hang out with my friend JR in Hollywood, and see how he and his crew were preparing for the launch of a new church in East Hollywood near Los Feliz, Thai Town, and Little Armenia. My brother and I attended the first gathering of this church together. It was a pretty cool morning because my brother was able to meet a number of my friends on the west coast, and we were able to just spend some quality time together as we made the long drive from Orange County to Hollywood and back.

That afternoon, he and I, along with his wife and son, took a little trip to one of the most beautiful places I have been on the West Coast--Laguna Beach. While we were sitting eating gourmet pizzas in a local laguna restaurant, my brother began drawing. We had enjoyed communion together with the church earlier in the day, and perhaps his mind drifted back to that moment as he drew. We were in one of those restaurants that gives people crayons and the tablecloth is made from paper, so we were enticed to be artistic. Well, my brother has a gift and a flair, I believe for capturing the profound in a simple sketch.

He drew this picture. It might not seem all that complex, but it has intrigued me since I watched him draw it. I asked him to sign it, and I took it with me from the restaurant, and I have kept it with me since that day.

For me, when I look at the grapes producing liquid, and that liquid going into the glass I think of a number of things. I think that is a quality of good art--it sends your mind going from a central idea in a number of directions.

Today, as I think about it, I think about my life. Jesus told us that He is the vine and we are the branches--apart from Him we can do nothing. Whoever abides in Him bears much fruit. I think about the fruit I am bearing on my branch. You see we are all branches either connected to the vine or not connected--if we aren't connected, we die. If we aren't strongly connected, the fruit we bear will be minimal. If we aren't pruned regularly, we won't produce the best fruit. Fruit like this cluster of grapes that is slowly dripping into the glass and becoming something that can be given to other people.

Is your life producing the kind of fruit that can provide sustanance to other people? Are you rooted to the vine? How is God transforming your fruit that it may be used in ways you had never expected?

So much profundity in such a simple illustration. Thanks Chuck, for this beautiful work of your hands, and the beautiful way of living that you demonstrate!

Fine Dining with Family

Fine Dining with Family, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Sunday night after h2o, my family went to casa d'amici for some good eats and QT together with some of our h2o community.

I am filled with joy every time I look at this photo. It's been incredible living together and doing things together for a couple of days.

It pops all of these cool memories into my mind. Like, we used to eat meals together virtually every night as a family. Or at least that's how I remember it. it might not have been every night, but it was a regular occurance. We would sit down and eat a home-cooked meal together.

I can remember my sister having her friends over, and how I would always be the rotten little brother who would come in and bug her and her friends because that's what little brothers do, and that's how I roll.

I can remember me and my brother staying up really late at night on weekends and playing trivial pursuit against each other. Sometimes he would even let me win, or at least come close.

I can remember our old house. I thought it was a really nice house, but we all live in houses that are so much nicer now.

It wasn't ever about the location though--it was about the people.

What about you? Are you taking time to enjoy moments with the people who are around you? It seems like folks will always be around, but now my family lives in four different houses. We don't stay up late playing trivial pursuit. We don't even get a meal together that often.

But those moments . . .

They are always precious.

Siblings

Siblings, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

Can you believe my parents were able to bring up the three of us? It was soooo incredible to spend time together this weekend.

I think I've got a great brother and sister. It's a shame that we all live such busy lives that we don't spend more time with each other.

My sister and brother are amazing. A lot of people don't get along with their siblings, but I am sooooo grateful for mine.

They had to put up with me being a rotten little brother, and they still love me. I think Mom and Dad gave us each a big heart for one another, and for other people as well. We had so much fun laughing together this weekend. I am going to cherish our moments for sure.

I hope you take some time to cherish your siblings today too.