Reflection: Memorial Day Memories And Honoring The Fallen

Today across America families are gathering in city centers for concerts and parades or on area waterways for picnics and barbecues. They are gathering in CrossFit gyms to complete the "Murph" workout, or venturing out to local cemeteries for a time of remembering family members and friends who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of others by laying down their lives. Today is a holiday and a day of remembrance filled with a mixture of patriotism and reflection for some. For others it is a day off of work, a day for grilling out, and maybe the start of "vacation season" and the winding down of another school year. 

My earliest personal memories of Memorial Day are rooted in cemeteries. I can remember going with my grandpa, my dad, my mom, my brother and sister, and sometimes a couple of my uncles to tend a family grave plot in a larger cemetery about 20 minutes outside of the town where I grew up. We would drive out in an old pickup truck filled with lawnmowers and trimmers and us. We would cut the grass all around a what seemed at the time an infinitely large section of the graveyard. We would make these trips through the spring and summer, but in late May we would also lay out flowers and other tokens of remembrance for generations of ancestors.

I learned a lot during those care-taking times during my childhood. Some very old family and Shawnee cultural traditions were passed along to me--traditions that taught respect, honor, and service. We would never walk on graves, and we would never remove anything from the cemetery. In addition to certain etiquette around graves, we also made it a point to visit graves during the weekend of memorial day and to decorate the graves of all of our relatives with garlands, flowers, and flags--regardless of how those relatives left this world. Too seldom in our busy "modern" world do we take time to reflect and to remember all of those who have gone before us and wore down the paths over which we freely walk today. 

Although many uncles, great uncles, and older family members served, I was too young to know any who had made the ultimate sacrifice in combat. But, as I have grown older, my life has placed me in contact with a number of friends who have served in various capacities in our military. Again, thankfully, I have not lost any of my close friends in military combat, but I know many of them have lost loved ones in the line of service. Most of the year, we give very little thought to what our service men and women and the families of the fallen may be carrying all year long every year. Organizations like Carry The Load are helping to encourage us to take time to reflect on those who have fallen, their families, and their friends. 

Today, maybe you are traveling to visit a family grave plot, attempting a "Murph" workout, or maybe just enjoying a day away from the workplace. Regardless of the place this day may find you, may we each take at least a moment to honor the fallen and those who have gone before us. They deserve so much more than a moment, as do their families and friends, but even a moment of reflection is better than no reflection at all. May we each take a moment to hug those close to us, weep as appropriate, and fill our hearts with gratitude that we each continue to have the privilege of moving forward and ensuring that the ancient paths are free and clear for another generation.

Remembering and Looking Forward: Celebrating Our Fifth Anniversary!

I remember it as freshly as if it were yesterday. Eight of my closest friends joined me to stand on a boat dock in West Virginia on Lake Floyd, and we prayed together as the time moved purposefully to the grand moment. A text message came through indicating it was time for us to begin the journey. It had been raining earlier in the day, and all around the region, massive storms had broken out, but for us, there were blue skies and the lush greens of spring. The water was calm, peaceful, and inviting. The nine of us purposefully descended into three small rowboats, and began our journey across the lake.

Upon docking at the far side, we came walking in single file to a gathering of a few close friends and family (to be honest it was all family—our friends are our family as well). The music had begun, and I was looking over the crowd smiling and filled with anticipation of what was to come. And then, she came from around the corner of the Lake Floyd Clubhouse with her father walking alongside her. My eyes began to well up with tears of joy. They came down to the waters edge across a grassy field through a center aisle made by folding chairs brought out for the occasion. I breathed in deeply as I thought about the sacredness of this moment. I was about to commit my life to this amazing woman, and she was about to do the same.

She looked so beautiful as she gracefully made her way down the aisle in a refitted and redesigned wedding dress, made from her mother’s own wedding attire. Her eyes glowed in the same bright azure blue that I’ve enjoyed waking and looking into as we start our day together for the last five years. I can remember so vividly every moment because my heart was (and is!) so captivated by this incredible, compassionate, faith-filled, beautiful woman. We exchanged our vows, we participated in an ancient Shawnee wedding tradition, and we even had the blessing of my best friend in the whole world, Willie, writing an original song for us. The entire time we were surrounded in beauty and held in love by our gathered witnesses.

As the wedding came to an end, the celebration started, and honestly hasn’t really stopped! We were presented to our gathered family as husband and wife, and made our way down the aisle exceedingly joy-filled to the tune of Country Roads, a fine new West Virginia/Appalachian tradition. We made our way to the dance floor of the clubhouse and enjoyed the best wedding food I have ever experienced thanks to the generosity of Jessica Kerr—She even made pepperoni rolls from filo dough. (Jamie had told her dad when she was a little girl that she didn’t know all that she hoped for with her wedding day, but she definitely wanted pepperoni rolls—a West Virginia staple).

And here we are, five years into the future. As full of joy and vivid memories as that day was, today seems more full. We have both grown in our understanding of what it means to be husband and wife, and we have also both grown in our understanding of how deeply loved and cherished we are by God and by each other. On our wedding day, when Willie sang that song he wrote, we carried it aspirationally, and today we still carry it in the same way, but at the very least we can say that for the last five years it has held completely true. Our love has only grown stronger over time, and our understanding of just what a treasure God has given us in each other gets revealed freshly each new day.

 

As we left crossed Lake Floyd late that night on a paddle boat to the cheers of many who we hold very dear, we had no idea that the late night paddle across the lake and ensuing drive to our home in Morgantown would be not only the very beginning of our marriage, but it would be a foretaste of our adventures around the world to make new friends and connect with old ones. So many times we have been richly blessed by the hospitality of others, and we have been so privileged to share in experiences with them as we learn together how to live out the exhortation of the ancient Hebrew prophet Micah to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.

And today, the journey continues. We are nestled on a small island off the coast of Maine, and enjoying a moment of respite and reflection before making the journey across another body of water and starting the drive back home. This time, instead of a paddleboat, the Swan’s Island Ferry will provide our transit.

We do not have any idea what the future holds for #TeamWilliams, but we are certain that if we continue to faithfully seek the wisdom and counsel of our gracious Creator together, He will supply us with absolutely everything we need for the adventure ahead. We are thrilled as we think back over memories that we have made with many of you during these last five years, and we look forward to savoring each new chapter of this story we are writing together with each new day. May we all take moments to soak in the joy of the present while we look forward to a future filled with hope and possibilities.

Remembering Jack Wolfe

My good friend from grade school, Joe Jones messaged me on Facebook to break the news to me. He had worked with Jack for a number of years, and he knew that Jack and my dad were really close friends. Later the same day, my dad arrived in Morgantown to have some shoulder surgery done. He was utterly shocked and saddened to hear of the death of his friend. “I was just thinking about popping out to visit him when I got back in town,” he shared.

My dad had first met Jack when they were both employees of the American Viscose plant in Parkersburg in the late 60s and early 70s. They became friends almost immediately. Their friendship lasted long after the plant closed, and, growing up, many of my memories of visiting Jack’s place were centered around auto repair. Jack was a genius when it came to anything mechanical on automobiles. I really think it gave him joy to solve mechanical problems, and to help others in this way.

Jack was originally from Bergoo, WV. It’s current population is 94 people, but every year, folks would return to Bergoo for a homecoming and reunion. My dad used to travel down to Bergoo with Jack. Jack loved making the trip each year, and he loved sharing his special home community with my dad. I wasn’t as close with Jack as my dad was, but, I have had some really incredible friends in my life as well, and I truly cherish time spent with them.

One time, my dad brought Jack up to Morgantown for the day, and I took them out to Cooper’s Rock and along some of my favorite trails up here. I think they both loved being in the woods, and enjoying the fresh clean air. The photos in this blog were taken during that visit. He was a big fan of McDonald’s coffee as you can see in one of the photos.

Jack left this world just a little under two weeks ago. According to what we heard, he had a heart attack while working on a car, and died shortly after arriving at the hospital. He died, doing work that he loved but his departure was a shock to all that knew him. 

I’m thankful that my path crossed his, and I know that many will miss him. Life is short and I hope we can each live it to the fullest while we walk this earth.

Martin Luther King Day 2012

Today we remember the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr and his legacy of working toward justice in America and in the world. It's pretty amazing to think about the fact that less than a century ago, the civil rights movement was in full sway. Less than a century ago, schools were segregated, restaurants were segregated, and even bathrooms and water fountains were segregated. Our nation has come a long way since Dr. King's death but there is still much work left to do in the realm of justice.

This weekend, I pulled a book off the shelf called "A Testament of Hope." It is a collection of the writings and speeches of the late Dr. King. I read a sermon, which was Dr. King's last Sunday sermon and it was given at the beautiful National Cathedral in Washington DC on Passion Sunday 1968, just a few years before I was born, almost to the day.

As I read the sermon, all I could think was that it could have been given yesterday just as easily as it could have been given 34 years ago. The words ring as true today as they did in 1968. Here's a small section.

"First, we are challenged to develop a world perspective. No individual can live alone, no nation can live alone, and anyone who feels he can live alone is sleeping through a revolution."

And another.

"Something positive must be done, everyone must share in the guilt as individuals and as institutions."

And yet another.

"There is another thing closely related to racism that I would like to mention as another challenge. We are challenged to rid our nation and our world of poverty. Like a monstrous octopus, poverty spreads its nagging, prehensile tentacles into villages and hamlets all over our world."

Dr. King, in this sermon centered the message around these words of Jesus, "Behold I make all things new--former things are passed away."

And as a closing remark, may the closing words of Dr. King's sermon be our prayer today, and every day, until Jesus returns.

"God grant that we will be participants in this newness and this magnificent development. If we will but do it, we will bring about a new day of justice and brotherhood and peace. And that day the morning stars will sing together and the sons of God will shout for joy. God bless you."

Remembering Uncle Bob

Although, I know he won’t read this, I feel like I needed to write something to honor my uncle and remember him. He went to be with Jesus last Monday, and I attended his funeral on Friday with my dad and sister as well as several other uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends. The photo above was taken just a few days before he went to be with Jesus. In the photo from left to right are Bob, Kenny, Dad, and Russell. All of them except Dad have dealt with some form of cancer personally.

I only met my uncle Bob a handful of times while he was alive and honestly didn’t know him that well. I know he loved his family very much, and that he would call to check up on his brothers periodically from his home in Oklahoma and from Michigan where my cousin Regina lives.

I learned something that I didn’t know while attending my uncle’s funeral. My aunt Ginny, his wife, came up to me and acted to comfort me, knowing that it wasn’t too long ago I was standing in the same building while friends neighbors and relatives paid their last respects to my mom. She leaned in and told me that my uncle Bob read my blog all of the time. In fact, she said it was the last thing he did before he died.

I can’t fully describe the way I felt when she told me that. I was honored and humbled all at the same time. There have been moments that I’ve contemplated pulling the plug on this blog, but I don’t foresee that happening now. My blog was my uncle’s window to what was happening with family, an encouragement to his faith, and at times a source of laughter for him and his family.

I told my dad what my aunt had said, and he said that every time he talked to Uncle Bob, he would mention things he had read in my blog, and he would compliment my writing ability and the notes I would post. My cousin Regina told me that toward the end, his vision had blurred, and he had asked her to read my blog posts to him.

I never had much opportunity to talk with my uncle on this side of the veil, but I do look forward to one day having many conversations with him as we worship Jesus together. He has left a legacy in his wife, his hard-working daughter, and his grand-children. He was a source of strength and wisdom for all of them, and now they have the challenge of sharing the lessons of the years under his tutelage with the rest of the world to bring healing and care to others.

From stories I’ve heard, uncle Bob worked tirelessly and couldn’t sit still until his cancer forced him to stop. He actually sounds a lot like his brothers. But now, he is resting at the presence of Jesus and the pains of cancer no longer ravage his body. His heart’s greatest longing has been fulfilled, and he is enjoying eternal joy, hope, and peace.

On Saturday afternoon, Uncle Bob’s wife, daughter, and grand-daughter hopped back into their car and began the drive back to Michigan. My cousin mentioned the possibility of everyone coming back to West Virginia to be with the rest of the family during the holidays. I certainly hope they do.

May you take time today to remember your family and friends who have passed through the veil, and savor the moments you have with those who haven’t.

Wood County Relay For Life 2009

Today marks the third year we've had a team involved in the Wood County Relay for Life. The purpose of the event, as think about it, is manifold.

It serves as an opportunity for the community to come together on a large scale to make a difference in a major healthcare problem. In Wood County alone, nearly $200,000 has already been raised to help fund research and progress toward a cure for cancer.

It brings survivors and fighters, friends and family members, together to encourage and inspire one another.

It offers a time of reflection to remember those who have died as they fought tenaciously against this disease.

Beyond this, it is one of the few times during our busy lives that it feels like we can come together to experience community in a special way.

If you are in the area, you should come join us at some point. Even if you can't make it out for the event, you can still join our team or donate by clicking that link.

For my family, we remember the loss of my Aunt Carolyn and my mom. We also remember that my sister, my Uncle Bill, Uncle Kenny, and Uncle Russell are all cancer survivors. It's a reminder that more and more people are winning the fight. For my friends, some celebrate personal victories, mourn personal losses, and remember family and friends who are still fighting heartily against this enemy.

Who knows? Maybe I'll see you walking this weekend.

Memories

Memories, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

I'm not sure when this picture was originally taken, or who the original photographer was. It's a photograph of me, Willie's wife, and his daughter standing outside our M'si Kah-miqui (Tribal Council House) in Maryland.

Saturday, I hung out with Willie and his family and I saw this picture, and I just thought it was awesome. There weren't any other pictures in the album we were looking at that had any relation to our tribal grounds.

It's kind of weird seeing an image like this and remembering how very important our Shawnee heritage is to each of us and it rekindles a desire to make sure that our culture gets passed on. It also reminds me of how beautiful our culture and our history has been. God definitely touched many lives through our time together on "the mountain" and gave us a richer appreciation of our faith.

My mom used to love going up on our tribal grounds for ceremonies, and so did my dad. But since my resignation from my chieftainship, it just hasn't been the same.

But at least there are memories and photographs--and even more there are ceremonies. Ceremonies that point us to King Jesus, the one who gives every good and perfect gift.

And traditions continue too. For instance, my brother recently received his name. Manitou Thee-po-wa-Thee. He waited a long time for his name, and he and I went about getting the name through honoring ancient traditions--like prayer.

You know there are many ancient traditions that we forget about every day. Studying the scripture, prayer, fasting, celebration, and worship are just a few. My challenge to you today is to soak in one of those ancient traditions, allow your memory to go back to a point in time when God did something beautiful in your life--remember and give thanks, celebrate and worship.