Reflection: Gazing At Gravestones And Living On Purpose

Over the last few weeks, I've had a number of occasions that have led me to take stock of my life, my legacy, and to consider my purpose during my limited time on earth. In the last week alone, have watched from afar as a close friend said goodbye to her mother, read as people were murdered by car bombs, stood-by shocked as floods overtook the homes of individuals in the southern part of my home state of West Virginia. And this past Sunday, I attended Horizons Church in Salem, WV with my wife and her parents.

Each time I visit that church, I try to take a moment and gaze up the hill behind the church and look at the tombstones representing generations past. Actually, every time I pass by a cemetery when I am on foot, I find myself doing this same exercise. I take in the whole of the cemetery, or I focus in on a few of the tombstones. I try to go back in my mind to consider the lives of those represented. Did they have family and friends gather about their grave after they had breathed their last? Do people still visit their final resting places today in remembrance of their life. What were they living for? What principles did they carry forth in their lives? What were their great triumphs and tragedies?What were their dreams?

And then after considering those lives, I strive to take a few moments to think about my own life, and purpose. It's a bit of a gut-check for me to think about my own mortality, and what I want to be true of my life when I breathe my last and see my Creator face-to-face. I know it can sound a bit morbid or gruesome, but there's something sobering and rejuvenating in this process for me. As King David wrote in the Psalms, "Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!" Our lives are temporal. Even Reebok, in this recent commercial encourages us to "Honor the body we have been given" as we consider the brevity of days we have on this earth



This time as I looked at the cemetery and took a quick photo, I found myself considering the ways we can both individually and collectively slip into a life of self-indulgent comfort and ease. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, A mere life of ease is not in the end a very satisfactory life, and, above all, it is a life which ultimately unfits those who follow it for serious work in the world."

I believe each one of us were made for a unique God-honoring purpose, and there is something deeply fulfilling as we discover that purpose, and live passionately out of that purpose. Each of us has a one-of-a-kind contribution to make to the world, and I believe part of the path toward our contribution demands a surrender of comfort and ease for the sake of service to others. Our purpose tends to call to us sometimes softly and other times loudly to step out of our lethargy and "do the work" of becoming the best version of ourselves for the glory of God and the betterment of humanity.

For me, that purpose inspires me to rise daily and to put forth effort to be physically and mentally strong so I can have something to offer to others from my body. It inspires me to pour time into the betterment of and care for others by helping others to be able to make meaningful choices for their future. And even as I write and consider that grand purpose, there's also the hard truth staring me in the face. Sometimes I like to sleep in. Sometimes I find myself wanting to pursue a life of ease. And that's why I'm grateful for the gut-check provided by gazing at a graveyard. One day, I will cease to live this life. I find it helpful in light of this to ask questions of myself like, "What kind of person am I becoming? What kind of person do I want to become?"

What about you? How do you stay mindful of your purpose, and how do you keep fanning the flame to keep moving forward? Whatever it is, my hope is that you and I are able to continue to develop routines in our lives that will help us bring our very best selves to this beautiful majestic world in a way that embodies honor, service, fierce courage, commitment, and tenacious faith. To do anything else is to shrink away from a strong call of duty and a wonderful legacy.

Reflection: Memorial Day Memories And Honoring The Fallen

Today across America families are gathering in city centers for concerts and parades or on area waterways for picnics and barbecues. They are gathering in CrossFit gyms to complete the "Murph" workout, or venturing out to local cemeteries for a time of remembering family members and friends who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of others by laying down their lives. Today is a holiday and a day of remembrance filled with a mixture of patriotism and reflection for some. For others it is a day off of work, a day for grilling out, and maybe the start of "vacation season" and the winding down of another school year. 

My earliest personal memories of Memorial Day are rooted in cemeteries. I can remember going with my grandpa, my dad, my mom, my brother and sister, and sometimes a couple of my uncles to tend a family grave plot in a larger cemetery about 20 minutes outside of the town where I grew up. We would drive out in an old pickup truck filled with lawnmowers and trimmers and us. We would cut the grass all around a what seemed at the time an infinitely large section of the graveyard. We would make these trips through the spring and summer, but in late May we would also lay out flowers and other tokens of remembrance for generations of ancestors.

I learned a lot during those care-taking times during my childhood. Some very old family and Shawnee cultural traditions were passed along to me--traditions that taught respect, honor, and service. We would never walk on graves, and we would never remove anything from the cemetery. In addition to certain etiquette around graves, we also made it a point to visit graves during the weekend of memorial day and to decorate the graves of all of our relatives with garlands, flowers, and flags--regardless of how those relatives left this world. Too seldom in our busy "modern" world do we take time to reflect and to remember all of those who have gone before us and wore down the paths over which we freely walk today. 

Although many uncles, great uncles, and older family members served, I was too young to know any who had made the ultimate sacrifice in combat. But, as I have grown older, my life has placed me in contact with a number of friends who have served in various capacities in our military. Again, thankfully, I have not lost any of my close friends in military combat, but I know many of them have lost loved ones in the line of service. Most of the year, we give very little thought to what our service men and women and the families of the fallen may be carrying all year long every year. Organizations like Carry The Load are helping to encourage us to take time to reflect on those who have fallen, their families, and their friends. 

Today, maybe you are traveling to visit a family grave plot, attempting a "Murph" workout, or maybe just enjoying a day away from the workplace. Regardless of the place this day may find you, may we each take at least a moment to honor the fallen and those who have gone before us. They deserve so much more than a moment, as do their families and friends, but even a moment of reflection is better than no reflection at all. May we each take a moment to hug those close to us, weep as appropriate, and fill our hearts with gratitude that we each continue to have the privilege of moving forward and ensuring that the ancient paths are free and clear for another generation.