Today is my mom's birthday. I started thinking about it a bit yesterday. I went to Washington DC to connect with a few old friends and to see WVU play Maryland.
It was kind of a weird experience for me. I took the metro into DC to meet up with a couple of friends, and I got there around 4PM. The last time I was in DC, I went to the Georgetown/WVU basketball game with some friends. As I got off the metro and emerged from the station, I started walking.
I realized as I walked that the last time I was in DC, it was around the same time of day, and in the same place. I remember calling my mom while I was there then. My dad was out walking, and she had ridden her exercise bike like 2 miles that day. We laughed and joked and celebrated her victory in the world of exercise. Times were a lot different.
Yesterday, I felt a sweeping sadness as I walked on the same sidewalks, and thought, "I really want to talk to my mom." There was a farmer's market in the city, and I thought, "I could get her some flowers for a birthday present, but . . ."
So today, I've been kind of sad, I just miss her. Yesterday, my brother and I talked briefly about Mom and he said something so beautiful I want to share it with you. He said that Mom was a little bigger than the average person, and we were often concerned about that being a potential health problem. But then he said that she probably had to have a bigger body because her heart was so HUGE, and that was the only way to contain it.
I think that's the thing I miss most of all. My mom's big heart. I miss the example of Christ she was in so many people's lives, including my own. As I write this, tears are streaming down my face.
When walked around DC, it seemed like there wasn't enough time available for me to thoroughly process all of the emotion I was feeling, but writing this blog has been a start.
In the end, I know she is much better off. She is eternally in the fullness of the presence of King Jesus. Cancer can no longer weaken her huge heart, and she is even more radiantly beautiful than she ever was as i knew her.
I'm thankful for the example she has given me, my friends, and family to follow in loving people. May our hearts, though in different bodies, imitate her Christlike love for people as a way of honoring her and our gracious loving God in whose presence she now lives.
It was kind of a weird experience for me. I took the metro into DC to meet up with a couple of friends, and I got there around 4PM. The last time I was in DC, I went to the Georgetown/WVU basketball game with some friends. As I got off the metro and emerged from the station, I started walking.
I realized as I walked that the last time I was in DC, it was around the same time of day, and in the same place. I remember calling my mom while I was there then. My dad was out walking, and she had ridden her exercise bike like 2 miles that day. We laughed and joked and celebrated her victory in the world of exercise. Times were a lot different.
Yesterday, I felt a sweeping sadness as I walked on the same sidewalks, and thought, "I really want to talk to my mom." There was a farmer's market in the city, and I thought, "I could get her some flowers for a birthday present, but . . ."
So today, I've been kind of sad, I just miss her. Yesterday, my brother and I talked briefly about Mom and he said something so beautiful I want to share it with you. He said that Mom was a little bigger than the average person, and we were often concerned about that being a potential health problem. But then he said that she probably had to have a bigger body because her heart was so HUGE, and that was the only way to contain it.
I think that's the thing I miss most of all. My mom's big heart. I miss the example of Christ she was in so many people's lives, including my own. As I write this, tears are streaming down my face.
When walked around DC, it seemed like there wasn't enough time available for me to thoroughly process all of the emotion I was feeling, but writing this blog has been a start.
In the end, I know she is much better off. She is eternally in the fullness of the presence of King Jesus. Cancer can no longer weaken her huge heart, and she is even more radiantly beautiful than she ever was as i knew her.
I'm thankful for the example she has given me, my friends, and family to follow in loving people. May our hearts, though in different bodies, imitate her Christlike love for people as a way of honoring her and our gracious loving God in whose presence she now lives.
4 comments:
It has been a privilege to observe your grieving process, as a fly on the wall. I can tell that your Mom was a very special woman... Thanks for sharing.
That's an amazing part of this internet technology. My friends from around the world can walk with me and grieve with me and even rejoice with me--and I with them!
Thanks again for your friendship Eric!
Billy,
I did not know your mother, but her God given light- is and has always been shining through you!!What a wonderful gift you have to give to the world...
Moms have the unfailing LOVE that our Lord has for us.
Love, Kim Reaser
P.S.(I miss my Mom also)
Billy-
As we share the grieving process, I am moved to hear your description of your Mom in heaven: "more radiantly beautiful than she ever was as I knew her." What a beautiful way to describe what I imagine of my mother often. Thanks for sharing your thoughts... and know that I am struggling right along with you...though learning to praise God in the process.
Love in Christ,
Nina
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