Meditation On Mortality

Over the last few days, I have had circumstances happening around me that have led me to really think deeply about my own mortality. A few weeks weeks ago, I received a phone call that let me know that the principal chief of my tribe had died at age 55 from a heart attack. More recently, I found out that another close friend of mine had recognized early signs he was having a heart attack, and was able to arrive at a hospital in time to save his life, he’s 42 years old. My dad suffered a massive heart attack in 2009, and his life was saved because it happened in a hospital.—he’s still going strong though. My mom died at age 61 in an inspirational fight she lost to stage four cancer, high-blood pressure, diabetes, and congestive heart failure.

As each of these events have occurred, they have brought into focus some basic truths to which I personally don’t like to give a lot of thought. Every single one of us will meet the end of our days one day.  When life events calls me to freshly consider the bigger questions of our mortality and purpose, I do not place my focus in pop-culture platitudes, but rather to ancient and timeless truths of the scriptures. This life will end. Saul of Tarsus tells us that it is appointed for each of us to die, and then after that comes the judgment. James, the half-brother of Jesus of Nazareth, warns that our life is a vapor and that tomorrow is not promised. One of the Hebrew Psalmists encourages us to learn to number our days. And with all of these myriad warnings, and the daily reality that there are people who are dying from various causes, I feel like we can lose sight of this reality.

But the last few weeks, have been a megaphone for these truths. So what does a person do with the reality that this life is temporary? I find myself looking to the wisdom of scriptures, and considering the application of the wisdom of the ages. In my estimation, the scriptures are a guidepost for living life on purpose, in light of our earthly mortality, and in light of the fact that each of us are, as the philosopher Dallas Willard has said, “unceasing spiritual beings with an eternal destiny in God’s great universe.” The ancient theologian Saul of Tarsus has also written an exhortation for the ages to, “Make the most of the time because the days are evil, and understand what the will of the Lord is.”

When I consider these truths, that my life is short, and that I’m seeking to make the most of the time, I still find myself in need of guidance. We live in a world FULL of chocies, at least most of us in the West seem to have limitless choices. I’ve spent enough time in other areas of the world (and honestly even here) to know that our circumstances can sometimes limit our choices—but we ALWAYS have a choice of some type. So, again, I look to ancient texts for truths that have stood the test of time. An Ancient Hebrew Prophet laid it out this way, “What is required of you o man, but to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

These are powerful words, but we need more than wise words to live by, we need to cautiously and humbly seek to apply these words and embody them in our lives. The reason I encourage caution and humility is because, if these words are meant to move us toward a life of purpose from the perspective our own mortality, then we need to be willing to course-correct if we may be mis-applying the wisdom. We need to be in a place to listen to the feedback of others. We need to be open to suggestion, but at the same time, we need to be resolute. If we aren’t resolved to a degree, then we will waffle and waver from our purpose, and we will likely live a less fulfilling life.

So as I consider all of the events swirling around me, death of a close friend, near death of another close friend, and the arrival to this earth of our first child, I consider this text in the following ways.

Do Justice—This is an active part of our life rhythm. In order to be able to do justice, I need to wisely steward the limited resources I have, in the limited time I have, for the good of others. This encourages me to pursue my own physical health, not so much so I can live longer (although there is a correlation between physical health and longevity), but more so I can do more in terms of justice. If I am healthy and strong, I can give more of my resources to service. I can volunteer. I can run and play with my child. I can help friends move, and it just leaves me in a place where I have more to give.

Love Mercy—There is so much wrapped up in this phrase. This phrase helps me to more fully be present to all that is going on around me. If I am loving mercy, I am willing to walk in forgiveness—I’m neither carrying bitterness toward others, nor toward myself. There are times in our life where all of us “do injustice” to ourselves and to others. There are times when we will have injustice done to us. It is in those times we have an ability to love mercy and extend mercy toward ourselves and others. Carrying bitterness, anxiety, and disappointment are not the way of mercy, and they will rob us of our life long before we breathe our last, if we let them. In this spirit, I strive to make space to choose to believe the best of myself and of others, and to extend mercy rather than enmity.

Walk humbly with your God—This is probably the least popular aspect of this ancient nugget of wisdom. Our pride screams defiantly at any form of humility. We want to do things in our way, according to our time schedule, and according to our own priorities—we do not like the thought of anyone or anything dictating how we should spend our time, talents, and treasures. And yet, when we walk in humility, we are able to have eyes to see our own shortcomings. When we walk humbly with God, we are choosing to listen to the ONE voice that desires the best for us, and has the clearest insight into how we can live the most fulfilled and purposeful life, the wisdom and guidance of God nudges us to the best life we can live. And by taking time regularly to listen and to respond, we can truly make the most of our limited window of time on this earth.

I would never claim to execute these three principles perfectly, but I believe they offer each of us guidance toward how we might each live our lives in a way that truly “makes the most of the time because the days are evil.” May we each strive to walk in a way that is mindful of our mortality, and that savors and makes the most of each magical moment of our lives.

A Birthday Reflection And Message For My Father-In-Law

A little note for Jamie's Dad on his birthday...which happens to be the same day as MY dad's birthday!

Les,

I am so tremendously grateful that over the last eight years, we have begun building memories.  I feel privileged to enter into this most recent chapter of the story of Leslie Ivan Reaser. Over these last few years you have become a friend, a father, a teacher, an example, and a brother to me, and I know that you have spent a lifetime serving in these capacities for many others.

I remember very clearly the November day in 2008 I drove to Lake Floyd, following Jamie home during Thanksgiving break, to have the conversation with you and Kim and to humbly ask your permission to date Jamie. After I asked, you shared with me wise and succinct series of words that have stuck with me to this day. Well, the way I see it, if the Lord is in it, there’s nothing I could do to stop it, and if He isn’t, well this will not amount to anything anyway. I appreciate you teaching me and even more, for taking your own step of faith and trusting me to court/date Jamie.

I also remember watching and learning from your example over the next few years. You would regularly go out of your way to help friends and neighbors around the lake, and even though the selfishness and lack of gratitude you would see in others might leave you frustrated, you would keep on serving, and teaching others to do the same. Going with you guys to serve on Christmas day by doing the jobs nobody really wanted to do, and doing them well comes to mind as well. I think those Christmas afternoons doing dishes had a strong impact on who Jamie has become, and they certainly have given me a more rounded understanding of exactly what we are celebrating on Christmas too!

And then, there was the second conversation. About a month before I asked Jamie to marry me, I asked your permission to ask her. Again, our conversation sticks out so clearly in my mind because it had all of the color, humor, and sincerity of the family we were becoming. You wisely reminded me after granting permission that I should consider what might happen if she said no. Nobody bats a thousand you know. Every step of the way I have been hope-filled and faith-filled and yet prepared mentally in case things didn’t go as planned. Thank you for that wisdom.

I remember vividly the text telling me and my groomsmen that it was “Go time!” on the day of the wedding. I remember sharing tears in a sacred moment as you walked Jamie down the aisle and we officially became family. 

I remember road trips together through the years as well—like the time when Jamie swam a mile in the Chesapeake Bay and we all traveled out to support her! And then there was the time when we shared a car and a room for Cindy’s wedding, and we found an endless hill while running around Warrenton VA. Man I thought that hill would never end! We kept going right on up it and right through town though.

Alongside all of these memories, I also remember when you asked me to speak at your mom’s funeral. We have had many great conversations around the word of God and encouraged one another in our journey’s with Christ, but I remember how much you worked to make sure that everyone was taken care of during the day of your mother’s memorial—you rose early to begin preparations, and you continued to serve and care for others by returning the clubhouse to its original state. And, I still remember Doris’ smile and joy-filled laughter. And I hear that same joy when you and I share a laugh together. 

Not only do you inspire me with your resolute and tenacious faith and commitment to service, but also in your commitment to your physical well-being as well. You are diligently committed to logging, tracking, and improving your diet—I’m so glad My Fitness Pal has been working so well for you—you’ve got several years under your belt now! Your commitment to your physical fitness has inspired Jamie, myself, and many others to get after it in the early morning while most of the world is sleeping—but we are still not quite getting up as early as you do.

Thanks so much for helping so many of us to be better than we would be otherwise. As you journey into a new year, may you be blessed as much as you have blessed so many others with your presence and example! I'm truly grateful for you, and I love you lots!

Happy 75 Birthday Dad!

My dad is one of the most amazing human beings I know. At 75 years young, he is probably more fit and more strong than many who are half his age—and that’s even after a massive heart attack seven years ago. My dad has always been a pretty amazing individual, and I don’t think I could write enough about the lessons he has taught me through his work ethic, his patience, his respect for others, and through his rich faith.

I remember when I was growing up, he would drive me to school EVERY DAY and pick me up EVERY AFTERNOON when school let out. He would ALWAYS find time for me no matter how busy his day was. He would be up early getting ready for work, and he would work late on projects around the house, in the garden, or helping our neighbors—at least on the occasions when we weren’t going fishing! On those days, him and my uncle Russell, and my cousin, Jo Ann would load up in Russell’s van as soon as he was off work, and we would venture out to see who could catch our limit of trout first. We wouldn’t stop fishing until the sun was going down.

We did a lot of fishing, me and Dad. Sometimes, when we would go fishing, he would reach his hand across the cab of his pickup truck and say, “Ol’ Billy Williams, used to be my buddy…” and every time, I would reach my hand out to give him a high-five, and say emphatically, “Still am!” And to this day, my dad is not only my dad, but he is my buddy as well. At my wedding, I had two best men, Willie (My best friend in the whole world) and my dad. My dad has been there for every important moment in my life, and it only made since to have him stand by me on my wedding day.

He used to take me to the PHS field-house every Sunday morning to play basketball for at least an hour. We would shoot free-throws, and he would teach me how to properly execute a hook shot. After a shoot-around and warm up, we would play a few games of horse or play one-on-one. I loved those mornings of us just hanging out. I loved them as much as the evenings fishing and the evenings practicing my fielding or my batting for baseball. Recently I was hanging out with one of my childhood friends who didn’t grow up with his father, and he told me that he always thought it was so cool that me and Dad did so much together. Growing up I just figured it was that way for every kid. Boy was I wrong!

My dad has one of the most intense work ethics of anyone I know—and he’s always looking for ways he can help others. Sometimes when he visits me, he will notice that the grass needs cut, and while I’m working, he’ll fire up the mower and cut the grass. When I had more trees around the house with low branches, he would come up and help me trim those branches too!

We don’t get to see each other as often as either one of us would like, but when we do, we always have a good time and great adventures. Whether it is going on long bike rides or hiking to the top of Seneca rocks, Dad definitely keeps you moving. I love that we get to explore so many parts of this world together, and I love that many of my friends have also had the privilege of meeting and spending time with my dad.

One year, I was able to save up to buy tickets to almost every WVU home basketball game for him to sit/stand in the student section with me. It was so much fun to be able to share some amazing times with dad at the WVU Coliseum to cheer on the Mountaineers. On top of all of the amazing character qualities my dad exemplifies and I strive to emulate, he is a HUGE Mountaineer fan! Part of my memories growing up consisted of listening to Jack Fleming, the Voice of the Mountaineers, giving play-by-play for WVU sports on my dad’s old transistor radio, while Dad prepared home-made pizzas for supper. And now, every once in a while, we will land a couple tickets to a WVU football or basketball game. And both of us have the same perspective on the games—as big of fans as we both are, the company we get to enjoy the games with means way more than our seats in the stadium.

Dad and Mom both taught me a lot about appreciating people, and appreciating the quality of time shared as much as the quantity. During my childhood, we would take bicycling ‘adventures’ from our house and ride to “The Point” (where the Ohio and Little Kanawha Rivers meet) and then make our way along the floodwall to explore some of the places along the river where he and his siblings would play and swim when he was a kid. The ‘adventures’ were always as much about the company as they were the location.

And today, on his 75^th birthday, my heart is overflowing with gratitude for a lifetime of memories like these that he has made with me—I know that just about everyone he knows well has a long list of similar memories made together.  And, for every one of us, we are filled with eager anticipation for the next set of memories we will make together.

Dad, I hope you have an amazing birthday! I am so grateful for every moment we have been able to spend together, every heartfelt conversation, every adventure, every Mountaineer victory (and loss), and every long hike, fishing trip, or bike ride. Even more, I’m grateful for all of the ways you have been such a solid example of the kind of man I aspire to be! I love you very much!