Reflection: Making Space

Every year, Jamie and I spend time together setting goals and reflecting on how we fared on our previous year's goals. In past years, I feel like I have personally been able to get those goals to paper with a moderate degree of speed, but this year, it seems that we both have been carrying our goals and our reflections in our head more than we have been putting them to paper. It has been a time of major transition as we adjust to what it means to be a father and a mother, but we still have our goals, and we are making some headway. I'm sure every parent transitions into this new role in a series of adjustments, and maybe those adjustments become more accurately described as adaptations as life takes on new color and dimension with new life.

One theme of our goals that has endured as long as we have been together has been the theme of simplicity. One could also call this goal the goal of making space. As I think about it, that's definitely an aspect of simplicity, and one which it seems there is dire need of in our lives. Whether it is making space in our homes or in our habits, all of our "habitations" or places and spaces in which we dwell, are very easily filled.

We each have been granted a gift (among many) from our Creator limited in scope from our birth. That gift is time. We have a limited number of days in a week, and hours in a day, just like we have a limited amount of space in our homes. Without some degree of intentionality and development, our time and our spaces become packed, congested, cluttered, full, and sometimes even suffocating. We can get caught up in checking our Twitter feeds, our Facebook streams, and our emails as our mobile devices continue to send us notifications from a wide array of apps and tools. We can gather more and more activity and more and more material goods, and crowd out the space for enjoyment of these activities and goods.

So what is the solution to the problem of filling our habitations with activity and clutter? I believe the answer lies in simplicity. What do I mean by simplicity? For me, I believe simplicity means exercising my ability to say no to busyness, say no to activity, and say no to holding on to items that could be bringing joy to others, and that have served their purposes in our home and life (books and clothes probably rank highest here). Simplicity also means saying no to distractions. It means refraining from checking email, Facebook, Twitter, or other 'news feeds' before or after a certain hour of day. (Jamie just recently made me aware of how I've slid into this habit over the last few months, and I'm grateful for her insight.) It means keeping the TV covered up for the most part, and making watching television into a special occasion or treat.

As a result of this line of thinking, Jamie and I have (among other things) made a habit of going through clothes and books and giving them away so they can have new life and bring more people joy. Each year, we give away bags of clothes, and the incredible thing is that we have never seemed to run short of something to wear. Each year, we take a hard look at the goods we have been blessed with, express our gratitude for them, and say goodbye to some of them.

And while this is healthy and good, I'll have to admit, that making space, whether physical or in time, is also challenging. When we looked back on our year last year, there was so much happening. And after a time of incredible busy-ness, at least for me, one of the hardest things to do is to slow down and to make space. Busy-ness becomes the norm, and then it feels weird to have space where something isn't happening whether it is a project moving forward or a new goal to conquer. But, I know that I need that space--we all do. It's probably one of the reasons that God gave humanity the practice, the space, and the commandment of Sabbath.

May we all create space for enjoyment, for reflection, for simplicity, and slow down on our desire to fill all of our moments with activity and acquisition. May we each slow down for a few moments to enjoy being present to what is happening in us and around us, caring for our souls and our world in the process.

Reflection: My 2016 Goals Part Two

A few days ago, I started sharing my top goals for 2016. I felt like my post was getting a little long, and so I divided it up into two sections. If you want to get the rest of the list, check out my previous post. Each year I like to develop a list of overarching goals that inform my life mission and help me bring my best into every day. Here are a few of the goals I have set for 2016. If you are not a goal setter, I want to encourage you to set some goals for your 2016 as well. Below is the second half of my goals for 2016. Please, when you can send me a note to encourage me along the way--I always appreciate it!

Make healthier dietary choices. The data is out there. Sugar is terrible for you (beyond tooth decay), and it is EVERYWHERE! Jamie and I have been pretty disciplined in our food and beverage choices, but we plan to step it up even more in 2016 and part of that means making more meals at home, finding healthy snacks, and taking our vitamins!

Vacation. This is something I have historically been horrible with. I do not take time for vacation. Many times when I actually do take vacation, I still find myself doing work and hopping online to check emails or answer "urgent" requests. This year, I'm committed to planning for and using the vacation time that has been given me. At the forefront, I will take time off to go "off the grid" and celebrate five AMAZING years together with Jamie! Separately, I have gotten out of rhythm with regard to Sabbath. This year, I am working toward renewing my personal commitment to Sabbath. The irony of a general cultural desire to uphold the majority of the Ten Commandments is that we treat the commandment about Sabbath as an exception. 

Simplify. Every year Jamie and I make small inroads toward pushing things out the door that we have acquired over the years. And this year, we are already starting to go through our clothes, books, etc. and donate them so other people can enjoy them. Several years ago I started amassing quite a library, and while I have enjoyed reading just about every book on my shelves, the reality is that I am highly unlikely to read the majority of them a second time. So...I am planning to push many of these tomes out the door. Of course another aspect of simplifying means lowering my footprint, walking instead of driving, and turning off electronics, and lights when not in use. 

Pursue formal training to be a certified coach. This one is a new one in some ways. My entire life I have benefitted from being around people who were smarter than me, more talented than me, and who provided incredible mentorship to me. And at the core of my being, I think one of the things that brings me great joy is helping others bring their very best to the world. As a result, this year I'm pursuing formal training to become a better executive/leadership/life coach and mentor. As one of my personal mentors pointed out to me in a recent conversation, "You already do this stuff--getting trained will help you to do it better."

Play more. I believe this could probably be connected to vacation, simplifying and other goals, but when I think about this goal, it has more to do with seeking to do some activities purely for enjoyment. Whether that is playing a game of cards, playing H-O-R-S-E with Jamie on a local playground, or throwing a baseball in the yard, I want to be intentional in finding time to play in 2016. Life is pretty serious. The work we are doing at Nuru is pretty serious too. But play keeps our hearts light and and makes the serious work a little easier to push through. I don't have a specific goal for the frequency with which I want to play, but I know that I want to pursue more activities than I currently do simply for the sake of enjoying them.

So what are your goals? What will you do to bring your very best in 2016? May we each bring forth our very best for the glory of God and for the good of humanity in the year ahead.

Squash Blossom 2015

Summer is officially here, and I haven't been able to put a garden in yet, but I received this gift growing from a pile of compost near the edge of the garden. Apparently, a squash seed was able to germinate in the middle of the compost. As long as I have been planting a garden, I have been enthralled by the beautiful flowers produced by the squash. My ancestors were also pretty fascinated by these squash blossoms and included representations of them in quill work and other designs. Each year, as the blossoms begin to bloom, I've attempted to document with a photo, to meditate and to reflect.

This year is no different, except for one change I have noticed trickling into my routines. I feel like it has been hard for me to slow down. I am not sure if the world is speeding up, or if I'm not giving myself "margins" to rest and reflect, but I am definitely taking notice of it, and being proactive to change.

This year, the lessons of the squash blossom are causing me to come back to some simple truths that I have learned, known, and forgotten. As I look at this simple yellow flower, it's almost like a megaphone booming loudly these truths that in our modern world of efficiency are easy to forget.

One of the foremost is this. There is beauty all around us if we slow down to look. We really just need to open our senses and take it in. Beauty is healing. Dostoyevsky once wrote, "Beauty will save the world." I agree. It puts us in touch with our humanity, with our relationship with the created world. Sometimes we need to stop and soak it in.

And this particular beauty, the beauty from this squash blossom, is coming from a compost heap. The Creator of the universe brings beauty out of waste and refuse. He takes ordinary dirt and seeds and crafts something that causes wonder to stir in our hearts.

We place a lot of emphasis on efficiency in this modern era. By efficiency, I mean doing the most activity in the least amount of time. I wonder if we are missing out on the beauty that can be created by 'wasting' time by sitting quietly, away from our gadgets, and away from the tyranny of urgent and often times unimportant activity.

As I write this, I find myself wanting to take more time to sit and observe, and I am grateful (and I hope you are as well) for the little treasures that are strewn about our path that nudge us toward a pause and a reflection.

Review: Leavings by Wendell Berry

I’ve always been a little slow to use gift cards.  I feel like they are innately a special gift, and so the use of such a gift should also be a special occasion.  Jamie’s mom and dad gave me a Barnes & Noble gift card for Christmas, and it took me until May to make a purchase with it.  Regardless of the reason, I finally did make a purchase, and I’m incredibly glad I did.

I picked up the latest book of poetry from Wendell Berry.  It’s called Leavings.  It’s a mixture of musings from day to day life, and latest of Berry’s Sabbath poems—which are of course a series of Sunday reflections afforded to the writer on his day of rest.

Wendell Berry himself is an agrarian or ecological writer, and his writings center on the land of his sojourn in rural Kentucky.  He has worked his farm for most of his life, and understands a little better than most in the West our close tie to the good earth.

As I picked up Berry’s book of poetry in the Morgantown Barnes & Noble, I felt like I was reading letters and reflections from an old friend, someone who has seen all of the ill of our myriad technological advances and increased consumption habits and tried to resist in the simple yet profound protest of farming a small plot of land and subsisting off those offerings.

He writes about the greed of our age and how it is costing us our lives.  He writes of tragedies that come from a careless lifestyle of hurry and haste.  He writes and reminds me of my own need for simplicity as well as my own complicity in using and abusing the land and our resources.

Last week, I picked up some of my own old poetry and began to read it out loud.  Jamie listened and was unaware that it was mine.  She thought it was Wendell Berry’s writing.  It’s one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received.

I don’t know Wendell Berry at all, but I’m tempted to write him a letter.  I’m tempted because I want to thank him for being a voice crying out against our own diversity of gluttony, and reminding us that we do have a choice.  There’s always a choice . . .

In light of the recent oil spill that is consuming our oceans and covering our wildlife with a reddish brown indictment against our greed, I highly recommend that more people give Berry’s latest installment a read.

If you do give it a try, please let me know what you think.  And also, do you think I should try to write him?

Regardless whether you read his or any other book of poetry or prose, I hope that you can make a small step of courage to use less today.  The irony is that you might feel somewhat useless yourself if you choose to do so—that’s why it takes courage.

Tiny Desert Flower

Tiny Desert Flower, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

This is yet another photo from Joshua Tree. This tiny flower is smaller than a penny, there was no visible stem. It was flush to the ground. I think that if I wasn't intentional about slowing down and observing while I was there, I would have easily walked by it, or worse yet, stepped on it and crushed it.

I'm currently at a conference for the ecclesia network, a church planting network started by a few of my friends in GCM and beyond.

Yesterday afternoon, a guy named Keith Matthews, who is a professor of spiritual formation at Azusa Pacific shared a devotional with us to start our time. He said, "We live in a culture that is moving at a speed that is very hazardous to our spiritual health. Hurry and Busyness appear to be the most dominant obstacle to our spiritual life"

The photo and his words reminded me of some words that the author Annie Dillard once wrote. Essentially she said that we spend our whole life rushing around on a search for grand treasures, but that our days are strewn with treasures that we hardly take notice of. Kind of like pennies on a sidewalk. She then said, it's a poor person indeed who can't stop to stoop for a penny.

When we rush around, not only are we missing out on treasures, but we are doing damage to our soul.

May you take time to slow down today, enjoy the treasures that are right in front of you, and do the important work of protecting your most important relationship.

Into the Wilderness

Into the Wilderness, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

It seems like everywhere we go, people are in a hurry. I took this photo Tuesday afternoon in Chicago’s O-Hare Airport. It struck me because not only are people in a hurry, these folks are trusting in moving sidewalks to get them from point A to point B even faster. There were literally thousands of people in this airport as I scurried from one gate to the other to continue my journey. I was in a hurry too—my flight had just been changed and I had to proceed from one end of the airport to make my flight.

So why was I in this hurried crowd in the airport? On Tuesday, I flew traveled from Morgantown to Pittsburgh to Chicago and then to Los Angeles to make final preparations for a wilderness retreat I am doing with a handful of staff from around the country who are involved with GCM.

The goal of the program is to for staff to experience a period, of solitude, silence, simplicity, fasting, and prayer in order to connect freshly with God. Once I enter the desert I will set up a camp and will not see or hear any other staff until it is time for me to leave next week. The director of the program has said that people either spend an extended time in the presence of God or go through an intense struggle as they realize their own inner emptiness. Most people experience a combination of both. What a time of clarity and direction—no wonder Jesus went to the desert before starting his ministry on earth!

Of course this means I probably won’t be answering my cell phone, or responding to emails, or blogging for that matter, but I plan to return to blogging when I re-enter society. So, while I won’t be able to blog for a while, don’t lose hope—I’ll be back in a week or so. In the meantime, I’ll tell you something you can do. You can pray for me as I venture out into the wilderness. This morning I was reading in the gospels about how Jesus, when he began his ministry, went out into the desert for 40 days to fast. I’m not Jesus, and I’m not going for forty days. But just the same, I have a feeling that there are spiritual forces that would love more than anything to distract me from connecting with the Creator of the universe. With that in mind, pray for my health and safety as well as for my time with God. I want to tear away any distraction in my life to hear Him clearly.

I think this will be one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. It is with awe and trepidation that I make my final preparations, and it is with an expectant and humble heart I enter the wilderness.

Only God knows what lies ahead . . .

The Way of the Heart Part 3

The Way of the Heart Part 3, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

“Very few ministers will deny that prayer is important. They will not even deny that prayer is the most important dimension of their lives. But the fact is that most ministers pray very little or not at all. They realize that they should not forget to pray, that they should take time to pray, and that prayer should be a priority in their lives. But all these “shoulds” do not have the power to carry them over the enormous obstacle of their activism. There is always one more phone call, one more letter, one more visit, one more meeting, one more book, and one more party. Together these form an insurmountable pile of activities.

This starts the section of Nouwen’s third part to his book, The Way of the Heart. It seems like prayer, although it is one of the most important and unique aspects to the life of faith is also often quite readily neglected. Even in my own life, it is so easy to get caught up in a flurry of activity, that I neglect speaking and listening to God through the habit of prayer. Nouwen says it this way, “The temptation is to go mad with those who are mad and to go around yelling and screaming, telling everyone where to go, what to do, and how to behave.” That is not a life of prayer though.

In Nouwen’s book, he reminds the reader of the importance of prayer above all things. It is through prayer that we are able to discern what other parts of our life are truly born out of true servitude and what parts are born out of a need to stroke our own egos.

C.S. Lewis calls prayer “the irksome discipline.” We often attach it to various parts of our day, but I believe often it can become just a formality before a meal or at some other time. Nouwen reminds us, “Our compulsive, wordy, and mind-oriented world has a firm grip on us, and we need a very strong and persistent discipline not to be squeezed to death by it.”

I think we value being productive so much that prayer doesn’t reap the kind of instant results that we like to see, and have grown so accustomed to. I mean, I was just driving by the hospital in Morgantown last night, and I was amazed at the fact there are multiple new buildings going up that really just got started in the summer—these buildings are HUGE!!! We can be so productive and see the fruit of our labors almost immediately, so we avoid the real work of faith—prayer.

I was just thinking as I wrote this, that sometimes God manifests Himself instantly when we pray. But many other times, it is like starting a garden. We till the soil of our heart with the word of God and then plant a tiny seed of prayer. God takes that tiny seed, and something beautiful and life-sustaining emerges from it. The challenge is that sometimes God lets that seed germinate over several days or weeks. And sometimes, for whatever reason, God in His sovereign wisdom sees that the best response to the planting of a seed is to let it change and become a tool for other seeds to grow—to fertilize the ground.

I’m always challenged when I read any book or essay on prayer because I realize the extreme challenge it gives me to nourish and strengthen this aspect of my life. After all, Paul said, “Pray without ceasing.” Nouwen’s book reminds the reader that as one grows in the prayer of the heart, that prayer becomes a form of rest in God which we remain in constantly.

As you go through your day today, ask yourself. What is my prayer life like? Does it have much life at all? Is it a smattering of knee-jerk reactions to circumstances or is a way of abiding in the gentle yoke and easy burden of Jesus. Do my prayers become manifest in the way I live? Do I really seek “His Kingdom come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven?” I hope as you read this note you join me in reflection, in growth, and in gently and patiently planting seeds of prayer in well tilled soil of the heart.

The Way of the Heart Part 2

Silence, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

It's been a while since I posted an entry on one of the books I've been reading lately. (Actually there are quite a few different books I have read, or been chewing through lately, so they may become a frequent topic for this blog.) Dutch author Henri Nouwen's book, The Way of the Heart is a book I've been reading with a group of friends in the faith in preparation for a wilderness retreat.

The book is primarily an exploration of three spiritual disciplines--solitude, silence and prayer. Before Christmas, I blogged about solitude and ironically I have had little opportunity in recent weeks to practice solitude.

As I continued reading through the section on silence, I was impacted by the following quote.

"Wherever we go we are surrounded by words: words softly whispered, loudly proclaimed, or angrily screamed; words spoken, recited or sung; words on records [or cds, or mp3s], in books, on walls , or in the sky; words in many sounds, many colors, or many forms; words to be heard, read seen, or glanced at; words which flicker off and on, move slowly, dance, jump, or wiggle. Words, words, words! They form the floor, the walls, and the ceiling of our existence."

Of course as you are reading this, I realize that I am adding to your word count for the day. ;) But sometimes, I think we are simply bombarded with words all hours of the day, and we don't have any filters for them. Or we begin to filter and ignore most all of them. Perhaps that's why we need periods of silence and stillness.

Beyond all of the shock of words, what about noise in general? I know soooo many people who must have background noise happening around them all of the time. Whether it's an ipod, or a television set, it seems like we are always looking for noise and running from silence.

Consider this quote Nouwen offers as well Keep in mind this book was written in 1981. This is before most people had more than 13 channels on their TV, personal computers weren't even known of, and the walkman, hadn't come into existence. And yet people craved noise. It's nothing new--only the methods have changed.

"One of our main problems is that in this chatty society, silence has become a fearful thing. For most people, silence creates itchiness and nervousness. Many experience silence not as full and rich, but as empty and hollow. For them silence is like a gaping abyss which can swallow them up. As soon as the minister says during a worship service, "Let us be silent for a few moments," people tend to become restless and pre-occupied with only one thought: "When will this be over?" Imposed silence often creates hostility and resentment."

I know in my own experience, I've felt this anxiety. Even when leading others through an exercise in silence, I feel the tension that the silence brings about. How I long for it to be over. How I long for noise to return. I think part of the reason we fear silence is that there is no creaturely comfort there. All that is left is God, and the question in our mind about whether or not we can be satisfied with Him. Often to our detriment we find ourselves running to anything and everything else. Our minds race with to do lists. Silence makes us feel unproductive. We feel like nothing is happening, but in reality, there is probably more happening in our hearts, minds, and lives during silence than during any other time.

I encourage you to take some time to turn off all of the noise. Don't go running around accomplishing tasks. Amid the silence, maybe, just maybe God will be able to speak to you freshly, and you will hear Him because you are undistracted by all of the other words and sounds that fill our lives.

The Way of the Heart Part I

solitude, originally uploaded by Villi.Ingi.

From time to time I like to share some insights I am reading in a variety of books. Recently, I picked up a book I read a few years ago, and began reading it again. The book is called The Way of the Heart and it is written by a Dutch theologian named Henri Nouwen. Over the next month, I would like to share insights from the book with you. It may be a once a week entry on my blog, or it may be more often. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this little twist to the blog.

The book deals with solitude, silence, and prayer and shares with the readers some of the practices of the early church (particularly the desert fathers) and their experience and lessons learned in solitude.

There are a number of quotes I would love to share, but for now I will give you this little nugget.

"We have, indeed, to fashion our own desert where we can shake off our compulsions, and dwell in the gentle healing presence of our LORD. Without such a desert we lose our own soul while preaching the gospel to others. But with such a spiritual abode, we will become increasingly conformed to Him in whose Name we minister."

With that thought in mind, let me ask you this question? Do you have a space in which you can shake off the compulsions of a busy schedule and the countless voices who seem to vie for your attention?

As I read this section of this extremely brief book, I couldn't shake the fact that I have often struggled to find that desert space in my daily routine. Seems like every minute of my day gets invaded--like people are working frantically to build Los Angeles in the middle of my desert.

May you and I both find a space in our days for solitude, and for abiding in the loving presence of the King of Kings.

A Protected Beauty

A Protected Beauty, originally uploaded by realkuhl.

Unfortunately this week has not afforded me the time to write and reflect that I was hoping it would. It has been a very productive week though, and I have a feeling I am going to be putting up a series of blogs dealing with some current problems we are facing in our world, and what we can do about them.

For now though, I want to encourage you to slow down. My best friend on the planet, Willie, sent me this article from a desiring God blogsite. The thing that strikes me is that the article hits on something similar to this picture. Isn't this photo exquisite?

In order to photograph this, the photographer had to recognize the beauty of the moment, and after he recognized it, he photographed it.

Now his photo took him about a half mile away from a parking lot--that's not far, but it took some effort.

Personally, I think we miss beauty like this every day because we are going about with blinders on and busily scrambling from task to task. The link in this post talks about a world renknown violin player who set up in downtown DC and performed as a few people chucked quarters in his violin case.

It's amazing how much we miss out on the beauty that's all around us when we are busy. Take some time to look at the world around you and soak in those moments and images that are just a little ways off the well worn path of a busy and hectic paced life. It will renew your spirit.

Night Sky

Last night I drove out with some friends to my friend Jeremiah's house to watch a meteor shower. Ricky Beamer took the picture above (among many others) and posted them to facebook if you wanna see more of em. I tried to take some photos with my camera, but unfortunately I just couldn't get anything but darkness--no stars, nothing.

So a half dozen of us took some blankets, and laid down on a hill close to Jeremiah's house in Preston county. It was really relaxing to just spend some time like that. I realized that most of my life I have rarely taken time to lay on the ground and just look up at the sky for an extended period of time. The night sky is beautiful. The daytime sky is pretty cool too, but I just seem to get so busy in the comings and goings of life that I fail to really appreciate the beauty of looking upward.

Of course there are all kinds of spiritual implications to this. We need to not be so busy that we forget to look to God, and ideas like that are definitely true, and came to my mind last night.

But much of the evening I thought about two things. Firstly, I thought about how the heavens declare the glory of God. I thought about how vast the heavens are, and how much more vast Christ is, and how it would be easy to begin to explore the heavens and get distracted in the process, but how wonderful it is to explore the created order and see the fingerprints of God--everywhere.

The second thing I thought about was having undistracted times with people. I thought about my tribe's land, and how we would often stay up half the night talking about Jesus, and drumming and singing, and watching meteor showers on our little plot of land. We would share stories with one another, and as the weekend continued on, life would take on more and more of a simple beauty. I feel like last night touched on that simple beauty. There is something about connecting with others, connecting with creation, connecting with yourself, and most importantly connecting with God that happens most artfully as we leave most of our daily distractions behind.

I hope you are able to take some time to set aside the busy plodding of life to soak in the special moments with friends and family over the holidays. Maybe give the television a rest for a bit. Shut off your computer. Turn off your cell phone. And enjoy the simple beauty of a night with friends and family.

Ain't That America

Ain't That America, originally uploaded by chanchanchepon.

During my hike through Cathedral State Park with Morgan and Karen, we discovered this field and farm. Once again, I was captivated. It looked like something out of Little House on the Prairie, or some such thing, and just spoke to me about a different way of living. There aren't any Superstores near this house, and no sign of major corporations. Just fields and forests to be seen all around. Caring for a piece of land like this takes a lot of time and energy. I think most of us would be crushed under the weight of the responsibility.

At the same time, looking at this pastoral scene points me to a way of living that stands much less complicated in comparison to the rat race kind of life most of us get caught up in. This is a different side of america than we read in neon and on billboards, and it is a refreshing perspective.

Couldn't we all use a bit of simplicity in our lives?